Things to Chase in 2021

     There is such a push in today's culture to be successful. And success is great. It's a powerful motivator. I mean who wouldn't want to be rich, recognized, and have the nicest and newest things? Success, however, is NOT our greatest calling. In fact it can fade very quickly. This happens for several reasons: 1) because success is dependent on the ebb and flow of the economy 2) because there is always someone with more than us 3) and lastly because success stops benefiting you the day you die.

     So in this magical time of fresh start's and resolutions that New Year's brings we want too, as a group of parents, stop chasing success in 2021 and instead seek something more meaningful. This year we want to focus on seeking significant. Polish-American author, Leo Rosten is quoted to say:

"I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate. It is, above all to matter, to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.”

     What a powerful purpose that is! To matter and to make a lasting difference by your presence. This is the kind of purpose that we can spend our whole life chasing. Significance lasts- even after we are old and gone. Significance satisfies our soul and is the lifestyle that keeps on giving. Because if I can make a significant enough impact in your life... then you going on to positively affect another... and they are now forever changed and that impacts the life of another... who then touches another... on and on as long as we have the will to strive to be more. We are such firm believers in significance that it is a huge part of our everything we do. We know that if we continue to significantly impact the lives of our students and families during their time at Warrior's Way then they will continue on and impact many others by the examples they set and the lives they lead.

   So let's make 2021 different. Instead of resolutions that will begin to fizzle out before February let's make every day a step towards lasting change. This year let's consciously chase significance, minute by minute, day by day. Don't let it be another year where we feel things will be different and then as we miss that mark all of our good intentions get bottled up and stored away until the promise of a new year and new beginnings kindles that passionate hope once again. Look over this list of simple steps to start leading a life of more significance today:

Live a life worth copying:

     Life is short. We all know it, but we don't like to think about it. And that's a little unfortunate. Because when you think about how finite and precious your time is you begin to live your life differently. You are never to young or too old to start building your legacy. How do you want to be remembered? What do you want to accomplish? Does your character, and integrity stand out to others? Do you lead your life in private with the same care and standards you do in public? When you lead a life of integrity it shows. Others will notice and remember that much more than what fancy car you drove.

Invest your time wisely:

     If our time is finite then we need to invest it in things that will bring us the most joy in the long run. Working extra hours, and weekends to make more is great from time to time, but at what cost? Are you missing birthday parties, dance recitals, belt testing? If you invested even half of that extra work time into yourself, your relationships, your family would it make a marked difference? In this season of parenting it is easy to feel like things will always be the way it is now. But our children are growing, at an increasingly fast rate. We promise to see their next play, but what if they grow beyond this interest before you make time? We are living in the good ole days right now. When we look back on our lives we will realize that these were the days. Don't look back with regret. Invest more of your time into the things that truly payoff now.

Leave work at work:

     Many of us are guilty of this. We take pride in our work and we want/need to do well. But our bosses don't care about your family. They don't see the importance of your child's soccer game or latest choir performance. And they won't unless you also make it a priority. Our jobs will constantly seek more and more of our time because that is just good business. Don't let them steal what precious little we have to devote to our families. Think of the elderly in your life. The parents, grandparents, and great grandparents. What do they spend their time reminiscing and telling stories about? Is it all professional conquests or is it that one time Uncle Billy cut little Suzie's hair that is shared? 

     So leave work at work. Invest in the things that truly matter. Lead your life by standards that will be remembered and push those around you to be better. Give yourself things to look back on and celebrate by spending your off duty hours wisely. Stop chasing success. And let's start seeking a life of significance together. 2021 is your family's year. You just have to make it a priority together. This year can be different if everyday our resolutions are renewed.

#RaiseAWarrior 

Instructor Spotlight: Mr. Arron

Mr. Arron is AWESOME! 

He has grown up in our Little Warrior's program and we are excited to be his very first job. He is one of our hardest working Junior Black Belts and moved up early into our Adult program because of it. We're excited to see him grow into this new capacity and help raise another generation of Warriors!

Mr. Arron strives to teach our Little Warriors:

"To never give up! Dedication and perseverance can get you through anything."

The kiddos love Mr. Arron because:

1. He isn't afraid to get on their level and train with them until they get something right.
2. He is very positive and upbeat no matter what might be going on.
3. He is a great example of a Junior Black Belt and the amazing things they can achieve while working hard at Warrior's Way

A few of Mr. Arron's favorite things:

      Mr. Arron loves training. He started classes when he was 4 in our Little Dragon's program and is still working hard to improve 11 years later. He loves that martial arts is a journey that never ends because there is always room for growth. He might even beat Miss Alana's record for going through all of our classes and being the youngest Full Instructor! Mr. Arron's favorite martial arts techniques are weapons drills because they have a nice flow and he can get very fast at it and push himself. In addition to his love of Warrior's Way, Mr. Arron loves playing video games, filming, and eating his mom's lumpia.

A little bit more about Mr. Arron:

      Mr. Arron is a 15 year old with a big heart. Upon receiving his first paycheck this self-less Burkburnett high school student donated money to be sent to buy much needed supplies and presents for children in the Philippines. Mr. Arron dreams of being a pilot and traveling the world and his life motto is to "live in the moment." We love his attitude and the hardworking personality he helps our young Warrior's develop. He is definitely one of those 'big brother' figures our student's can look up too.

Mr. Arron we are excited to have you on our team. Raising awesome Warrior's is easier with your shining example. You're a rock star!

Some throwback baby Warrior pics of Mr. Arron just for fun...

Mr. Arron started training when he was 4. He watched every single one of his brother's classes while being treated for a brain tumor until it was considered safe for him to come back to class.

                   Black Belt Test Sparring vs Mr. Jake

Arron sparring Tuhon during his Black Belt Test

A throwback to Mr. Arron's long hair days

Arron (right) looking fierce holding his first weapon

#RaiseAWarrior 

Parenting Intentionally

     When you think of parenting how do you view it? Is it a job? Your duty? Or is it a little too messy to fit in those descriptors? Would you consider parenting a relationship with your child? No matter what word you choose we know that parenting cannot be done on autopilot. It is too beautiful and important for that. Our child needs and deserves more than that. The truth is parenting needs to be thought out, focused, and goal driven. Parenting, simply put, needs to be intentional.

     Sadly far too many of us are guilty of parenting by default. It isn't necessarily something we purposefully do and it isn't always bad. It is more like a parenting reflex. When we are faced with something new or unknown we tend to fall back on our instinctual default. And this reflex response (be it good or bad) is shaped by our personal history and how we were raised.

     So many things are influenced by our upbringing. Our work ethic, our budgeting, how we celebrate holidays, what we prioritize with our time, our attitudes and opinions all come back to how we were raised. Sometimes in parenting we seek to follow that model, other times improve it and sometimes (depending on how it went) we choose to move in direct opposition of that upbringing. And all of these decisions, conscious or not, will have a long lasting impact on the lives of our children.

     The truth is there are a million and one ways to do this parenting thing and multiple ways to do it right. That isn't the problem. But why leave our child's character and future up to chance? When we take the time to figure out what we desire for our child, what our families core beliefs, values, and priorities are going to be then we can take a step away from autopilot, set some goals, and start intentionally crushing this parenting thing. So this week we wanted to give you Warrior parents a simple action plan to evaluate your parenting and if need be give it a little more direction.

LAYING THE FOUNDATION: 

1) Look to someone you admire: This could be anyone, past or present, that has been a part of your life. We know that no one is perfect, but there are positive and effective bits of parenting to be learned and pulled from those around us. If these admired people are currently in your life talk to them. Ask questions. Figure out what works and what doesn't. Anytime we aren't learning we aren't growing. And our children need us to learn and grow right along with them. This is a partnership and there isn't an easy answer or path to follow. Don't be afraid to look outside of 'your box' for inspiration.

2) Evaluate your present and compare it to the past: Looking to the past is always an interesting experience no matter who you are. And no, we aren't asking you to focus on the highs and lows of your childhood. To do that is to view the past through the eyes of the child that you were. We want you to instead look at your childhood through the lens of the parent that you are now. How did they interact with you? What did they verbally teach you? What did their actions teach you? What stands out to you and why? Now look at yourself. Do you see a pattern to your interactions with your child? Do your words match your actions? What unspoken lessons are you teaching them? Is your parenting reflex going a direction you want to stick with? Is it successful or does it need to be modified?

BUILDING UP WITH PRACTICAL STEPS:

1) Write it down: A good introspection can be eye opening. But all that desire to change isn't going to get us anywhere if it is out of sight out of mind. So write down what you've realized. What are your parenting reflexes? Which do you like and dislike? Do you yell because that's what you were exposed to growing up? What do the people you admire do that you would like to try? What characteristics do you definitely want your child to develop? A goal without a plan is just a wish so take the time to write it down. Then communicate it with the individuals who are on your team, helping raise your child with you. Consistency and accountability is the key to crushing goals so hash it out with everyone and get on the same page.

2) Show what is important: Our actions speak so much louder than our words. We show our kids everyday what is most important to us just by living our lives. Like it or not, our children see when we choose our phone, our job, or our own sanity over them. They pick up on the unspoken things and learn to tread carefully when we are short on patience and time. It's okay for them to pick up on the fact that we are human, that is a reality of parenting. But even more there are so many other characteristics we want them to develop: like patience, respect, bravery, kindness, and self-discipline. We could talk about these traits until we're blue in the face, but the very best way to show a child is to simply embody them. Kids are smart. A child remembers the character traits (good and bad) that they see you regularly use. Don't let your actions betray your words. Show them daily what really matters and their strength of character will begin to move in that direction. 

3) Spend time on task: When life get's busy (and we all know it does) we tend to undervalue the things that should always remain our top priority. We all have good intentions to spend time with our children individually, but amongst a never ending to-do list sometimes one more game of Uno, one episode of a favorite show together, one more trip to the park just doesn't seem feasible. There is a balance here, however. The work will always remain, but our children are only little for so long. Dishes can wait. 10-15 minutes of daily focused attention doing something together shouldn't just be a goal of intentional parents; it should be non-negotionable. Our priorities show by what we spend time doing, more than what we say. So be intentional with your time. We are living in "the good ole days" right now. So take time to enjoy your children by participating in what they like, showing them how to act, and by above all being intentionally present and available.

     We hope this helps you reflects on where you are and where you want to be Warrior parents. And then that you use this to forage ahead, INTENTIONALLY, savoring the moments to come. You and your child are partners in this endeavor of growing up. And we can't wait to see where that journey takes you. As always if you need help, we are on your team and at your back. You've got this Warrior parents!

#RaiseAWarrior 

Building Good Habits With Your Warrior: Gratitude

     Last week we shared great reasons and benefits of making gratitude a habit in your home. Now it's time to make an action plan, because a goal without a plan is just a wish. So this week we wanted to share some simple ways for you and your family to make having an attitude of gratitude the norm in your home. Because gratitude is a mindset it doesn't take much to switch. Just some concentrated effort. So here are five steps (that take 10 minutes or less to complete) that will help you build this habit with your family and start having a happier home life today...

Recognizing Life's Roses:

     Having a moment of thanks each day with our family is so important. It's a great opportunity to decompress, share the highlights of the day, and check in with each other. And with regular practice, some good can be found in even the darkest of days. One way this can regularly be done is when the family is gathered at dinner time. Growing up I had a friend who's family shared the "roses" of their day at dinnertime. Essentially the things that made us happy and we were grateful for were life's roses. Their family made it a goal to 'stop and smell (or reflect on) the roses' at each meal they were gathered too. You could also share a thorn of the day (or something that wasn't good), but only if you shared a rose before and after so everything ended on a good note. This practice is a simple and fun one that helps teach a child to count their blessings and recognize the silver linings in life. It's human nature to see the glass half-empty from time to time -- our kids are no exception. But when we cultivate an attitude of gratitude in our home we are recognizing that life is about perspective more than circumstance. This habit teaches resilience and helps us refocus on the positives in life that are often overlooked.

Thank You Notes Matter:

     Handwritten thank you notes are becoming a dying art. But it truly is a perfect way to encourage kids to express their gratitude in a creative way. And there are so many opportunities to thank another for doing something special for us throughout the year. Coaches, teachers, families who host sleep overs, after a birthday party, a hand written note or picture goes a long way towards spreading joy and sharing your gratitude. Plus it's one of those habits that if you start them young, your child will naturally carry throughout life. So keep thank you notes in your home. Set an example by writing a few of your own throughout the year. After all, the world needs more kindness in it so strive to raise a child who leaves other's better than they found them.

     

Gratitude Journals:

     There are a lot of studies that show happy, successful people, take the time to keep a journal. Whether this is a few quick bullet points throughout the week of highlights or a list of things that make you happy, having something you can look back on during life's lows has so many benefits. So take the time to reflect on the good things going on in your life. No matter how things are going it definitely boosts your mood when you practice gratitude. Plus having a journal filled with your child's wishes, blessings, and drawings is a priceless keepsake that both of you can enjoy for years to come. And who know... if you get into the habit your child might also cherish these insights into you as you both grow older.

Give "Things" In Moderation:

     We want to make our children happy. It's a part of being a good parent. From the time they first looked up at us, grasped our hand, said our name, or said "I love you" it has been one of our main goals. We want to give our children the best we can-- all the things we loved from our childhood and all the things we wished had been a part of ours. But there is a lot of worth in moderation. Buying all the things does not replace missed time and experiences shared with your loved ones. So yes, give what you can to your child, but don't feel like they need the newest iPhone or gaming system. Those material things will have greater worth to them if given in moderation. When a child sees what it takes to have all those things they will appreciate it more, than if their every whim and wish is granted seemingly from thin air. As they get older having a child chip in their own money towards a goal is also a great way to teach gratitude and help them respect the hard work that is demonstrated in order for them to have the things they want. Growing up we had to save our own money for souvenirs on vacations. Only one souvenir we wanted would be covered during the entire trip by our parents. This made us appreciate our covered souvenir and the hard work of saving/having money so much more because when you're going on a three week road trip there's no time to turn back for that stuffed bear that is now 100+ miles away. So put the emphasis less on things and take the time to recognize the work that it took for it to get there.

     

Self Gratitude:

     Finally this last one is specifically for you parents. A lesser known form of gratitude is self-gratitude or self-care. Practicing self-care is about being grateful for yourself, what you have, and this marvelous life around you. By making this a habit, you can shift your thinking to be more positive and grateful overall. So focus on self care once a week. Treat yourself just because. And don't feel like this is a purely monetary treat. Set aside some time to do something that brings you joy. Whatever your passion or way to unwind we want you to spend a few selfish moments with yourself. We parents work hard and our family needs us far beyond normal business hours. So take a moment to fill yourself up. We fill others best, when we ourselves are filled. So take a grateful moment for yourself to be the priority, take a moment to breathe and refresh. This is important not just for you, but for your family as well. So take the time to fill yourself up, then
                                                                                                         you can return to your life and duties refreshed and with a grateful heart.

     So there you have it. A quick list of easy actionable steps that will help you and your family make gratitude a habit. And speaking from experience, we had our adult students and instructors focus on gratitude for a 30 day Alpha Goals challenge this year and the results were amazing. When you take a moment to recognize how many things you have to be grateful for that you previously took for granted you will be amazed at the change in your outlook and happiness level. So take those first steps to become happier and healthier. Go be stronger and more grateful from here on out. This isn't just pretty words dumped neatly into a blog. This is a call to greatness and a simple step towards making the rest of your life better.

#RaiseAWarrior 

The Power of Gratitude

     Here at Warrior's Way we love the holiday season. Not just because of the traditions and some time off, but for the precious family centered time we get to enjoy. However, amidst all the hustle and bustle of the holidays it is far too easy to let that precious time pass us by, to forget the true meaning of the season, and get caught up in all the to-dos we've got to get done. So this Thanksgiving we want to help you and your family slow down a little. Because gratitude and being thankful is so pivotal to our happiness. And it is so much more than simply teaching our kids to say "thank you." Gratitude goes far beyond good manners... it's a mindset and a lifestyle that has countless benefits. So over the next two weeks we want to share with you 1) some reasons why instilling gratitude in your Little Warrior should be a priority and 2) ways to start making gratitude a regular habit for you and your family.

It Increases Joy:

     Gratitude is one of the most important keys to finding success and happiness in today's world. It is necessary because we live in a world where we have a highlight's reel of picture perfect life and families being pushed in our faces 24/7. This constant comparison is a thief of joy and can lead to many mental health problems, insecurities, and depression. Gratitude is the cure for that, no matter our age. Knowing what we appreciate in life means we know who we are, what matters to us, and what makes each day worthwhile. It puts us in a positive frame of mind, keeps us centered and in line with our purpose, and connects us to the world around us. It is proven to help individuals live happier more satisfied lives, as well as enjoy increased levels of self-esteem, hope, empathy and optimism. So before your child is overwhelmed by the peer pressure present in school and social media, make sure you are working to build a sound foundation of gratitude in their heart.

It Builds Perspective:

     We lead a very privileged life and it shows in the growing entitlement of successive generations of youth. Us parents are a part of this growing problem. I mean if we look at all the great stuff we provide for our kids... outings, activities, gifts, vacations, material possessions... the list goes on and on. We fill their time with joy and their room with all the latest gadgets with little to no effort on their part. And a child that grows used to getting stuff without knowing or caring where it comes from will walk through life with that continued expectation. Life doesn't just give us creature comforts out of thin air and it is important for a growing child to recognize that. So don't do less for them or withhold all the awesome things you can provide. But make sure we curb all these gifts and experiences with a little gratitude. When a child is taught to practice gratitude it helps them develop a healthy understanding of how interdependent we are as a family unit, and that many opportunities come to us because of the work done by another. This understanding expands a growing child's vision outside of their own world and helps them understand yet another reason for why we should treat others with genuine respect at all times and in all places.

It Strengthens Relationships:

     When we practice a regular attitude of gratitude we tend to notice the things around us more. This includes being more aware of the amazing people in our life. It helps us see how much their hard work and effort impacts our life for the better. Because we are more readily aware of others we tend to acknowledge and thank them more. This fills others up and helps foster stronger, more positive, healthy, and genuine relationships in our life. So if you want to improve the atmosphere in your home or lessen bickering between siblings a regular attitude of gratitude can go a long ways towards fostering that.

It Counteracts the Gimmes:

     Finally a daily practice of gratitude opens our eyes to the who's and what's that make the positive aspects of our lives possible. When a child is taught to consistently think in those terms they are less likely to make mindless, selfish demands. We've all seen those kids in the store. Constantly throwing temper tantrums and demanding more and more of their parents even after they've won their first request. It is easy to get caught up focusing on what we don't have no matter our age. So put the focus on gratitude and appreciating what you have right now. This removes comparison from the equation and leads to much greater long term satisfaction and happiness.

     So no matter where you are on your gratitude journey we know that if you take some concentrated effort, as a family, to count your blessings you will notice increased happiness, happier relationships, and less complaining in your home. I don't know about you, but that sounds like a win to us. So invest the added time and effort in teaching your child true gratitude this holiday season. Not only does it benefit everyone now, but it also arms your child with the emotional strength and fortitude to make it through life's times of plenty and times of hardship with grace and a grateful heart. 

Stay tuned for next week's article on ways to make gratitude a habit in your home!

#RaiseAWarrior 

Healthier Habits Before the Holidays

You did it parents! You survived the candied sugar rush of Halloween. But I hate to break it to you. Winter is coming. And with winter comes the magical and yet dreaded hustle and bustle of the holidays. Lets be honest parents... sweaters, hot cocoa, food galore, holiday parties and gatherings. It is not the easiest time to stay on track and keep up with our goals. So before we truly get down into the trenches preparing for some holiday cheer we wanted to preemptively take some steps to help our families remain more on track and a little healthier this season. Because we all know our kiddo plus a sugar crash is something to be avoided at all costs. So here is a Warrior parent's guide to keeping up with some healthier habits before the holidays take over.

It's a Family Thing

     Ever been to a dinner party at a friend's house where they served an adult menu and a totally different kid menu? While this may be a necessity with young infants and toddlers this cannot become the norm. Meals are a family affair and we've got to stop giving in and serving a kid's menu. When we consistently dumb down flavors and textures to suit a child's picky preferences we are teaching them that they're picky preferences are allowed. As parents, we are in charge of teaching and guiding our children to eat like an adult. And this doesn't happen by accident, it requires our conscious effort. Otherwise we will blink and our now adult child subsists solely on a diet of chicken tenders, pizza, and hamburgers (you think it doesn't happen, but my mom still has to prepare a separate dish for my very much adult little brother at every family meal due to his lack of flexibility in his meal preferences). So start saying no to the kid's menu. If you're at a Mexican restaurant your child should try to order Mexican food of some sort, not just chicken tenders. The same goes for when you're eating out Italian or any other type of non-American cuisine. In doing so we are helping our child expand their palate, tastes, and preferences. And consistently stepping outside of our comfort zone is good for everyone, no matter the age. I am not saying this transition will be easy at first, but isn't it easier to just prepare one meal rather than three different versions of it, or to be able to go to any restaurant in town rather than having to try and suit everyone's individual tastes?

Redefine "Snacks" vs "Treats"

     When you think of "snacks" what comes to mind? What about when you think of "treats." Are they mostly the same thing? Should they be? In our society 'snacks' (or what most people consider to be snacks) are readily available, convenient, and a regular part of our daily diet. This hasn't necessarily been a great thing for our health overall, but it is a fact of life. But are we using them correctly? Snacks should be a mini meal, or in between meal that helps us remain fueled up throughout the day. It shouldn't be high in sugar or low in nutrients like the bag of chips or donuts we tend to grab from the break room or nearest vending machine. Those are actually treats, or those unhealthy indulgences that should be saved for special occasions. When we make this distinction clear for ourselves and our families we will begin to make healthier choices on a daily basis. So take some time to sit down and explain the difference to your little one. An apple, some carrots, or meat and cheese would make an excellent snack. The bag of chips, ice cream, or Little Debbie snack they keep asking for, however, is a treat and shouldn't be a part of their regular weekly diet.

Junk the Junk

     Now that we've distinguished between snacks and treats it is time to go through your home and literally junk the junk. We all eat what is readily available and convenient. That is why fast food is such a huge industry. It's just there and so easy in a quick pinch. With busy schedules we're often left hungry and in a rush. We don't pause to think "Is this going to be good for me?" but rather "fooooooooood." That's why a bag of chips can disappear in seconds without a thought for all those empty calories. So empty that fridge and cupboard Warrior parents! Clean out that snack drawer! If there isn't soda, chips, or cookies to tempt us we have no choice, but to eat healthier. Because no matter our age we all automatically reach for and snack on whatever is in front of us. So let's going into the holiday season with ready to go options of a healthier variety.

The Magic of One Polite Bite

     This dinner time rule is so simple, but a complete game changer. The rule is everyone must take one polite bite of everything on their plate. It doesn't have to be a big bite, and you aren't ever forced to "clean your plate", but you do need to make an effort to try everything. This is important for three reasons... 

(1) Science proves our taste buds change all the time. You can grow up absolutely hating peanut butter and chocolate (like I did, I know that is completely crazy and I was being ridiculous as a child) and then one day it just tastes different. So keep taking polite bites, even if it's of something you previously didn't care for. It might just surprise you that your preferences have changed. 

(2) Taking a polite bite of everything that is served at a meal is just good manners. As your child grows they will begin to be away from home more and more. Other people eat different. Being open and able to politely try different flavors and textures will always leave a mark on others so start them young. The practice of manners is important whether it's a simple meal at a friend's house or a multi-course fancy business dinner.

(3) This magic rule of one polite bite also works wonders for picky eaters. It allows you to give foods they don't like a regular cameo appearance. Say goodbye to never serving your favorite dish because little Tommy won't eat it. We're not saying the transition will be easy. It may take 5 times or well past 100, but eventually with consistency of the one polite bite rule, your child will stop fighting you and may even develop a taste for it. 

     So there you have it! These easy tips may not have you eating perfectly portioned roast chicken and greens by Christmas time, but they are definitely a step in the right direction. We hope that you as you focus on your family's health and habits you can say goodbye to mealtime tantrums and focus more on what really matters- spending time just being with each other. And don't worry your family's healthy eating habits is an evolving process. When all else fails you can always join us on the mat for some squats during dodge ball on Family Participation Days. Keep it up Warrior parents! And we hope you're as excited for this holiday season as we are!

#RaiseAWarrior 

Teaching Your Warrior To Be A Good Friend

     As our children progress through the Elementary grades and move towards Middle School we begin to notice a trend. Relationships with friends start to become as important as development and connection within their family. As our children grow they begin to crave acceptance from peers and often look to their friends to help them navigate day to day life. This can be a tricky time for our child's development, but it also can be so rewarding with the right guidance. After all friendships can make the worst days that much better, having a friend to share your time with makes everything more fun, and the people we spend the most time around definitely shapes us as we grow.

     So how do we help our child be a good friend when friendships at this age are so fluid? I mean friendships (especially among kiddos) ebb and flow all the time. It isn't necessarily intentional, but it does happens. As extra-curriculars pull us all different directions, scheduling conflicts abound, new jobs are taken or refused, friends just move on or slowly grow a part. We naturally feel closest to those we see the most, so as our child's passions, personalities, and our family circumstances as a whole change our child's friendships will evolve as well. So instead of putting the emphasis on the number of friends your little has, focus instead on the kind of friend they're becoming. The rest will then begin to fall into place.

Respectfully Say "NO" To Drama:

     Drama happens and we've all been caught up in it before. When emotions get high it is easy to be sucked deep into these dramatic falling outs. After all there is a huge adrenaline rush that comes from being central to these soap opera-esque moments. But these webs of high emotions come with a very low return and more heartache than it's worth. Consistently engaging with people who are gossipy, crave chaos, and wish to stir the pot will leave our children (and us) exhausted long before high school is over. So when it comes to being a good friend teach them to say no to drama from an early age. Initially we do this by helping them understand and interpret their own emotions about an event. Even younger elementary aged children frequently have friendship disputes and will come home distraught because little Jimmy didn't sit with them today. Helping them work through and then move past these slights is the first step towards a drama free household. As they become better equipped to recognize and care for their own emotions, your child will start to be able to recognize and do the same with the emotions of those around them. This empathetic understanding will help them understand the why behind only sharing the details of a conflict or falling out solely with the core players. Not everyone needs to be involved. Teach them not to forward or share embarrassing stories or images. Raise a child who doesn't respond to baiting messages or comments. Raise someone strong enough to resist zinging back hateful comments and who can empathize with others enough to know when drama has gone on too far. The best kind of friends are always respectful and consistently empathetic. They don't play around with drama and other's emotions. So say no to drama by making respect and emotional maturity the standard of behavior in all relationships. These priceless values truly do start with us in our homes.

Patiently Assume Positive Intent:

     Kids, especially younger ones, are not inherently cruel. They tend to be insensitive, but that's just because they don't always see how their actions affect others yet. A lot of elementary snubs and friendship disputes are unintentional. But when our child perceives malice, that anger and hurt truly puts a stop on conflict resolution. So teach your child you give others the benefit of the doubt. Teach your child to take some time to cool off and process their emotions so they are more open to seeing and hearing things from the other person's perspective. When we assume positive intent in others, we are slower to anger and more inclined to be patient and kind. This practice is also super helpful among squabbling siblings, so truly take the time to nurture this mindset and make it a habit in your home. 

Have Confidence and Always Leave Room At Your Table:

     As parent's we love to see our child have a best friend or group of close friends. These may not be their BFF's for life, but they are an important part of their journey right now. While our child is enjoying the benefits of friendship it is important we teach them to not be hyper-focused on the friends they have at the exclusion of everyone else. I remember in college, a family friend suggested I meet another young woman they knew who was attending the same school, with the same major a year ahead of me. I was pretty content in my friend group at the time, but I hesitantly said yes and then nervously entered Starbucks to meet this girl in a blind friendship date. This girl and I became fast friends and college would've been a very difficult experience without her. To this day she remains my best friend and we jokingly are thankful neither of us chickened out on our arranged blind meetup. So teach your little to cherish their friends, but always leave room at their table for the new kid. When we step outside of our comfort circle with confidence and lead the way for our friends many unexpected blessings can happen. So raise a child who is unafraid to invite someone new to join them and their friends. It could be the best thing that ever happened to them.

Choose Kindness Over Popularity:

     Being popular and a part of the it crowd can be fun, but if it's our child's only goal they will be sorely disappointed. Trying to impress the "in" crowd can be a slippery slope that tempts us to compromise our values. So rather than trying to find the perfect group of friends, teach your child to concentrate on being the right friend instead. People are drawn to people with similar ideals. When your child focuses on kindness and treating everyone well and with respect they will attract friends with similar attitudes. It is important for children of all ages to know that by holding themselves to higher standards, by encouraging others rather than critiquing, and by becoming the friend they wish to find they will be setting themselves up for more positive, long lasting, and less dramatic relationships.

     So instead of getting tangled in friendship drama or stressing over whether your child has enough friends focus on building up tried and true attributes instead. When we put the focus on character traits like respect, patience, confidence, and kindness we are setting our child up for ultimate friendship and relationship success. Because when your child stands out from the crowd because of their values, it truly does leave room for a deep and meaningful friendship to bloom. The kind of friendship that isn't casual, petty, or likely to break apart quickly. A friendship that has a chance of growing along with your child and lasting for many years. The secret lies in strengthening the good character you are working to build. Because when you focus on raising a warrior everything else truly falls into place. So keep it up Warrior parents! And have a great week!

#RaiseAWarrior 

Crushing Homework Battles Like A Parenting Warrior

     School’s been back in session for over a month. Hopefully by now you and your Little Warrior have settled into a semblance of a routine and shaken yourself from the indolent habits of sweet summer time. Now that we’ve mastered back to school routines it’s time to master the second parenting hurdle of back to school time- homework. Maybe you’re little one just sits down and rocks it like a champ. But the odds are this extra work is met with some resistance to say the least.

     So what is our role in these homework battles? As parents we naturally feel it’s our job to ensure our kids do well in school. I mean this is one of those first pivotal steps to them succeeding in life… isn’t it? The truth is, however, when we micromanage or complete our child’s homework to ensure they succeed now we ultimately aren’t doing them any long term favors. Homework is meant to reinforce the topics learned in class and show the teacher areas of weakness. When we give our child room to figure it out for themselves and make some mistakes along the way we are allowing them to safely learn and gain important life skills like self-sufficiency, problem solving, dedication, and time management. Those skills are vital to success in the work force, much more so than recognizing a verb, or diagramming a sentence. 

     This isn’t to say we wash our hands of this homework business entirely. After all our children will need a lot of support and guidance while they build good study and work habits. So take a look at these strategies to help you and your child crush homework without us resorting to do it for them. After all homework is their responsibility. Not ours.

Let your child take the lead and plan TOGETHER

     One of the life skills homework teaches a child is the discipline required to tackle and complete unpleasant tasks. Life is full of unpleasant tasks. The sooner our child learns how to cope with and crush them the happier they will be. We would all rather watch Netflix then do an unsavory or dreaded task. But the majority of the time we simply can't. So let your child take the lead a little, but keep them accountable. Maybe they're hyper from sitting in a class all day and can't immediately jump right into homework. It is okay for them to have 20 minutes to run around crazy before settling down to work. You don't always have to work before playing, it's all about balance. We simply have to get our tasks done in a timely manner. So suggest a few ideas (that you're willing to support) that might make them more successful and see what they want to try. Timers for regular breaks, a little down time to unwind first, maybe homework in the morning instead of evening, maybe homework at the table without distractions is better or maybe relaxing on the bed is more their study style. You won't know without trying. Pulling out their homework and setting it in front of them may be easier, but it steals priceless learning opportunities away from them, so plan together and let them lead the way a little.

Be a RESOURCE

     As parents we want our children to know we will always be an available resource for them, but that we will never be a crutch. This is a delicate balance that takes some practice to get just right. When it comes to homework time, don't hover or micromanage their work. Be nearby, but keep going about the things you need to do. When your little one calls out for help don't immediately rush over. Give them a chance to continue working through the problem on their own. We want them to understand that we don't mind them asking for help, but that they also have to give it their best honest to goodness try. Some parents find success with putting a limit on the number of times their little one is able to ask for help on any given homework night. Then any further problems they will have to circle and talk to their teacher about. This is also great real life practice because asking another for help (especially if that person is deemed an authority figure) takes a lot of courage. It is hard to admit we need help and don't know what to do so let them burn lots of safe easy reps building this skill set before it becomes a necessity.

Focus on building GOOD HABITS

     Completing homework assignments and having good study habits as a child scholastically progresses aren't necessarily the same thing. It is important for our growing child to not only be able to focus and sit to/complete a task, but also to review material, take notes, retain information, view the big picture, and stay organized. These good study habits if instilled now will set our child up for academic and professional success in the future. So take the time to build these habits up. Let them see you use good organizational habits in managing bills or the family calendar, let them ask questions about budgeting, show them that reading for pleasure on topics that interests you is good. Help them study material in different ways. We all learn differently so have some fun finding what learning style matches your child best; be it flash cards, active listening, color coded note taking, the options are truly endless. Taking the time to do this now will prepare them to rock high school and college later. Remediation and study classes are just as expensive as the ones that help you get your degree so save yourself and your child some money in the future by taking the time to tackle and instill these habits now.

     Overall our child's education is one of those investments who's importance can't be stressed enough. So take the power struggle out of homework time by approaching this together with a positive mindset. Who knows... you might just both learn a little something along the way.

#RaiseAWarrior 

Instructor Spotlight: Miss Kenzie

Miss Kenzie is AWESOME! 

She was in our Little Warrior's program growing up and received her Junior Black Belt in our kids program with her older sister. She's worked with us on and off through the years and we're grateful to have her back on our team now!

Miss Kenzie strives to teach our Little Warriors:

"To always have kindness and compassion for others and themselves. We really are missing that today and something as simple as a smile can help someone out."

The kiddos love Miss Kenzie because:

1. She always has a sweet smile and hello for them
2. She genuinely is happy to see everyone
3. She absolutely loves snacks and the kids enjoy buying them from a fellow snack lover

A few of Miss Kenzie's favorite things:

      In addition to absolutely loving snacks, Miss Kenzie loves animals. She has a full house when it comes to pets. Her mini zoo includes three dogs: Roxy, Shadow, and Koda (who is a 7 month old puppy full of energy and personality), two fish named Oscar and Angela, and a sassy hedgehog named Wade. Since she loves such tiny adorable creatures and all of that busy energy it's no wonder she feels right at home hanging with all of our Warriors here at the Academy. Miss Kenzie is always on the go, but when she gets to slow down and relax she loves watching Criminal Minds, taking naps,  daydreaming about her next trip to Italy and Greece, and hanging out with her best friend/fiancé in between her homework.

A little bit more about Miss Kenzie:

      Miss Kenzie loves kids. She wants to spend the rest of her life working around those little balls of sunshine and dreams of being a pediatric nurse after college. She's currently attending Vernon College and we think that hanging with our kiddos will definitely be good reps in that field. Miss Kenzie was recently engaged to her high school sweetheart, and our very own Mr. Brendon. They grew up in our Little Warrior's Program and it's awesome to see these two Warriors grow stronger together and help support a whole new generation of Warriors. When we asked Miss Kenzie who her hero was she said it would definitely be Mr. Brendon. "He's like my Superman. He's good looking, kind, highly intelligent, and always here when I need help or a hug. Thank you for all you have done for me. You will always be my hero." With awesome adults on our team like them we know we can succeed in our mission and help future generations of Warriors be just as awesome.

Miss Kenzie we are so excited to have you back and we look forward to seeing where this new stage takes you both.

Some throwback baby Warrior pics of Miss Kenzie just for fun...

Little Miss Kenzie is the 2nd one on the left

Miss Kenzie's silly photo from her Junior Black Belt Test

#RaiseAWarrior