Why The Right Mom & Dad Friends Matter

     We've always heard choose your friends wisely and any of us who remember high school can say how true that statement is; for the people we spent the most time with really have the power to impact our life in big ways. We know our closest friends can influence our attitudes and actions (as a parent and spouse), but their power truly goes beyond that. For many of us parents, being a part of my life also means you're a part of my child's life. So who are the adults and friends we welcome into our homes regularly? When choosing your friends do you seek them only for yourself or are you seeking good people who will help you raise up your child and influence them in the very best ways.

      Growing up my parent's closest friends were always like family. We went to stay at their houses regularly, called them our Aunts/Uncles and they never missed a birthday party or big milestone. And they came from all walks of life. Some were police officers, martial arts school owners, some were stay at home parents, some worked at the movie theater, some graduated college and some had not. Their value, wasn't determined by their job title or education status, but that they were men and women who loved us, looked out for us, worked hard and were always kind to others.

     So who are the adults and friends in your life? Do these bonds only benefit you or do they also extend to enriching your child's life? No matter how you choose to view your friendships or include them in your families life here are some things your choice in friends teaches your child about good friends.

It Teaches Them To Seek Out Good Character

       The quality of an individual and the values and ideals they embody will affect your child much more than their successfulness or status within society. So whether your children are involved in your adult friend's lives or just hear you speak of them make sure to emphasize what really matters. Point out and praise their strengths of character in front of your child. Your child (especially during the early years) wants to be like you and soaks that stuff right up. So teach them to seek friends of exemplary character who push them to be better and do the right thing.

It Teaches Them To Seek Out Dependability

      Seek out friends who stand by you and aren't only there out of convenience or for fun. We know life is full of unexpected curveballs so teach your child to seek out friends who are there through thick and thin no matter what. The kind of people you can turn to when life gets hard. And who better to exemplify this than the friend within our spouse or significant other? However, dependability is a two way street. Let them see you prioritize your relationships and consistently follow through with your plans. Dependability is one of those priceless traits in any relationship so teach your child to be dependable and seek it out in others.

It Teaches Them To Seek Wise Council

     Our friends and peers can have a strong impact on our attitudes and the important decisions we make. It's important to gather around you a group of people you trust, who share your values and see life through a similar lens as you do. It's also important to have friends who won't pull their punches and are willing to correct and steer you back to the right path if it's required. The world will bombard us with many voices- the voices of ambition, power, wealth, greed, and selfishness. We need to surround ourselves with people who consistently speak the truth. So let your child see you show some emotion and let them see you be open with yourself and your relationships concerning present obstacles. Let them see you weigh those hard decisions. Seeing this process and a bit of vulnerability will teach them to also seek good council and weigh the pros and cons of any big decision.

     So there you have it. Your friends are yours, it's true, but they also can have a bigger impact on your growing Little Warrior than you would first suspect. So seek out friends and relationships who lift you up and also teach your child to seek the very best. Happy parenting! Keep being awesome Warrior parents!

#RaiseAWarrior 

Keeping Bullies Out Of Your Child's Life

     We teach a child to get help when they are being bullied, hurt, or mistreated in any way. And that is what we've been teaching them for years. Authority is the answer. And it can be when society in't bogged down by excessive whistle blowing and a focus on being politically correct. So how do we prepare our child to handle being bullied? How can we prevent it in the first place? Is teaching our children to run to authority always the best answer? The school system and other organizations try to handle these and other issues to the best of their abilities, but it is easy to see how they are frequently overwhelmed.

     So what can we parents do to protect our children when they are outside the safety of our nest? Especially when we know that bullies are notorious for targeting kids that are isolated or have low self esteem. The answer is in our mission of raising a warrior. A warrior knows who they are and what they stand for. They know what is acceptable behavior and what will not be tolerated. They are willing to stand up for themselves and others. So where does this confidence come from? How do we teach our kids to recognize their inherent internal worth? Our sister school in Oklahoma has some great insight on the manner.

     Brandon Bennett is a long time friend and student of Tuhon Harley Elmore. He is the instructor who runs Relentless Martial Arts, up in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He recognizes that our youth receives little or no positive affirmation from our culture about who they are and makes it his mission to regularly ask his student to "tell me who you are." The premise of this question seems simple. The things you say about yourself must all be positive. You cannot describe how you look. And you must give as many examples as you are years old. So a ten year old student, must list 10 things that describe who they are and positively fit the criteria presented. It is simple task, but not an easy one. Mr. Bennett uses this tool to constantly reaffirm the youth in his academy by revisiting the ever growing definition of who they are and steering their thoughts in a more positive direction. Society would have us associate positive meaning to how we look, but it should be so much more than that. We want our children to find positive meaning in their character and skills instead.

     Last time Guro Brandon was in our school he posed this simple question to some of our instructors. It was an eye opening exercise. So take some alone time to do this exercise on your own. See how it impacts your day. And then while you sit down to family meals or check in with your child one on one before bedtime take a moment to see what their response is. Maybe make this a monthly thing where you all answer the question "Who am I?." You might just be surprised at how this sense of self can quickly change with a little bit of positive affirmation.

     So use this tool to help steer your child's sense of self worth. As their confidence grows the likelihood that they will be targeted by bullies will continue to decrease. Because after all the best anti-bullying plan is having the confidence and self worth to not be seen as a potential target in the first place.

     To read more of Guro Brandon's thoughts on affirming the self confidence of our youth and why it's so pivotal to their development check out the full article at...

http://www.relentlessmartialarts.com/Blog---A-Relentless-Life.html

#RaiseAWarrior 

Tricky People: Things to Teach You Child Before Trick or Treating

     With Halloween coming up it's time to start thinking about how to protect our kiddos and ensure they have a safe night while trick or treating. Halloween can be a big scary night, but not because of costumes. Whether you trick or treat with your child, let them go in a group, send them out alone or with a sibling, Halloween can be a ripe opportunity for your child to get lost or separated from the group by accident or by people who's intentions are far from noble.

     We work on stranger danger with your Warriors regularly. We want them to feel comfortable saying "No", fighting and running (when needed) while yelling for help, and with telling a safe adult what happened after. But what if your child gets lost and needs an adult's help to locate you? Do they know how to recognize a safe stranger?? Have you reiterated how to recognize a tricky adult who might not truly be trying to help them? Do you as a family, have a safe word or password that allows your child to leave an area with another adult?


   
     These are scary topics to think about, but teaching our children the information and skills they need in order to handle unsafe situations breeds confidence- not fear. When everything is said and done, the phrase "knowledge is power" undoubtedly applies to our children keeping themselves safe. As much as we wish we could physically be present always and protect our kiddos from everything, that is just not reality. So don't lose sleep over this. You can empower your child and give them confidence by teaching them what to do in these kinds of situations.

     This article by our sister school, Pride Mixed Martial Arts in Edmond Oklahoma, offers some great advice on how to seek out a safe adult and practice feeling courageous and strong in these kind of situations. A few other safety points we would like to make include:

1. Teach your child that in addition to women (as the below article suggests), strangers in uniform (i.e. Police officers, fire fighters, EMS, nurses, military personnel, store workers, and security guards) tend to be good guys and the safest in a situation where your child is lost and/or need help
2. Teach your child that if an adults needs help, they'll ask another adult for help. Not a kid. This is important to stress because only tricky people try to lure a child away by asking a kid for their help.
3. Setup a family password. If an emergency were to arise and you or another family member cannot pick the child up from school, or an event it is best to have a family password setup in advance. This password has to be given by the neighbor or friend attempting to pick the child up before the child leaves the area with them. This is important because as much as we want to trust the people in our lives, statistics show that children are taken advantage of primarily by someone they are familiar with rather than a true stranger they've never met. Instilling a family password lets your child know all is safe and this empowers them during stressful or scary situations. Be sure to quiz them on this password routinely and change it once utilized.

Overall the important thing to remember is:

"It's not what you do for your children,

but what you have taught them to do for themselves

that will make them successful human beings" (Ann Landers)

Hope this helps! Check the full article out here and get ready 

to have an AMAZING safe and fun Halloween with your Warrior!

Teach your kids how to talk to strangers

#RaiseAWarrior