Teachable Moments
What is a teachable moment? Honestly, they come up daily and we don't even realize it. When our kids ask "why?" or push back when we tell them to do something, that is a teachable moment. Children ask questions because they are usually just curious and trying to learn and grow. They want to understand why things are the way they are. Usually from a selfish standpoint of wanting to do what they want to do and instead of what you are telling them to do. We just hear them question our motives and constantly asked "why, why, why" so often that we have a filter of "because I said so" or "I am your mother" without even realizing that we are shutting down their questions that lead to growth. We are so busy with adult issues and life that explaining the WHY behind why we need to go to bed at a decent hour or not eat tons of sugar seems silly. But honestly, it isn't. Not to our children.
What is a teachable moment? Honestly, they come up daily and we don't even realize it. When our kids ask "why?" or push back when we tell them to do something, that is a teachable moment. Children ask questions because they are usually just curious and trying to learn and grow. They want to understand why things are the way they are. Usually from a selfish standpoint of wanting to do what they want to do and instead of what you are telling them to do. We just hear them question our motives and constantly asked "why, why, why" so often that we have a filter of "because I said so" or "I am your mother" without even realizing that we are shutting down their questions that lead to growth. We are so busy with adult issues and life that explaining the WHY behind why we need to go to bed at a decent hour or not eat tons of sugar seems silly. But honestly, it isn't. Not to our children.
A child's curiosity can definitely be frustrating. Especially when WHY is their favorite word and they ask it ALLLLLL the time. But curiosity can be healthy (to an extent.) If they ask why when they know the answer they are just testing you. But if they are genuinely curious, we should teach them! How can they understand following rules but at the same time know healthy boundaries and when someone is trying to take advantage of their naivety or kindness? Wouldn't it be better if WE taught them our values and morals before someone else does? Someone else that might not match up with our expectations for our children.
When your kiddo is arguing or disagreeing with a sibling, cousin, friend you can teach them HOW to problem solve. It is one of the best things we can offer our children. It is also one of my favorite things to do at Warrior's Way. Getting kids to really think about what they are wanting, needing, why, and how they would feel if the roles were reversed. How to solve a problem on their own without having to yell or be mean to get back at someone. Wouldn't it be nice if your kiddo grew up with the tools to nicely get what they want? It isn't magic, it won't happen overnight, they will learn these lessons daily. But wouldn't it be great if you walked into a room of kids playing because you heard shouting and your kiddo is in the middle trying to help them talk it out and solve their own issues?
Another very simple example could be brushing their teeth before bed. That can be a battle for tons of parents. Because honestly it is annoying to stop playing and go do such a silly mundane task. But if you explain the WHY behind dental hygiene they will never forget it and hopefully stop pushing back. Nobody wants to loose all their teeth at 22, right?!
Sometimes these teachable moment happen in a more scary and serious moment unlike simple tasks like the brushing of ones teeth. For example your kiddo might hate holding your hand when you walk through the parking lot "Why do I have to hold your hand when we cross the street?" If we just use our easy quick responses how will they REALLY know the seriousness behind that simple request. So take just a moment to tell them that "sometimes people driving won't notice a little kid and they could get really hurt?" Even ask them a question, "How would you/or how would I feel if something bad happened to you and you got hurt?!" Putting kids in a situation and asking how THEY would feel in that moment are important. It clicks for them. After that most likely they won't push back anymore because they would understand the why and never forget that very small but meaningful lesson. It also builds trust. Your kiddo will know that the things you ask of them usually have a pretty good reason behind them! Communication is KEY!
As a parent, teacher or mentor we should always look for these moments and take the time to TEACH. Whether it is in that exact moment or when our schedule isn't so hectic. We should always teach the WHY. These kiddos won't absorb what we tell them or really care/understand the reason behind why we do what we do unless we give them the WHY! Or even lead by example. They pick up on what we do. Children are sponges, they absorb EVERYTHING we do or say. Insignificant things to us might stick to them.
So let's start today! Teach those babies every moment you can! We are raising the next generation. Wouldn't it be amazing if they left our homes with the tools to conquer the world? Imagine what they could accomplish! Imagine WHO they could be because they know WHY we act with integrity every day.
It is okay to start this anytime, at any age. We are all learning and growing.
You've got this! We've got this!
We are all in this together.
