So what is our role in these homework battles? As parents we naturally feel it’s our job to ensure our kids do well in school. I mean this is one of those first pivotal steps to them succeeding in life… isn’t it? The truth is, however, when we micromanage or complete our child’s homework to ensure they succeed now we ultimately aren’t doing them any long term favors. Homework is meant to reinforce the topics learned in class and show the teacher areas of weakness. When we give our child room to figure it out for themselves and make some mistakes along the way we are allowing them to safely learn and gain important life skills like self-sufficiency, problem solving, dedication, and time management. Those skills are vital to success in the work force, much more so than recognizing a verb, or diagramming a sentence.
This isn’t to say we wash our hands of this homework business entirely. After all our children will need a lot of support and guidance while they build good study and work habits. So take a look at these strategies to help you and your child crush homework without us resorting to do it for them. After all homework is their responsibility. Not ours.
One of the life skills homework teaches a child is the discipline required to tackle and complete unpleasant tasks. Life is full of unpleasant tasks. The sooner our child learns how to cope with and crush them the happier they will be. We would all rather watch Netflix then do an unsavory or dreaded task. But the majority of the time we simply can't. So let your child take the lead a little, but keep them accountable. Maybe they're hyper from sitting in a class all day and can't immediately jump right into homework. It is okay for them to have 20 minutes to run around crazy before settling down to work. You don't always have to work before playing, it's all about balance. We simply have to get our tasks done in a timely manner. So suggest a few ideas (that you're willing to support) that might make them more successful and see what they want to try. Timers for regular breaks, a little down time to unwind first, maybe homework in the morning instead of evening, maybe homework at the table without distractions is better or maybe relaxing on the bed is more their study style. You won't know without trying. Pulling out their homework and setting it in front of them may be easier, but it steals priceless learning opportunities away from them, so plan together and let them lead the way a little.
Be a RESOURCE
As parents we want our children to know we will always be an available resource for them, but that we will never be a crutch. This is a delicate balance that takes some practice to get just right. When it comes to homework time, don't hover or micromanage their work. Be nearby, but keep going about the things you need to do. When your little one calls out for help don't immediately rush over. Give them a chance to continue working through the problem on their own. We want them to understand that we don't mind them asking for help, but that they also have to give it their best honest to goodness try. Some parents find success with putting a limit on the number of times their little one is able to ask for help on any given homework night. Then any further problems they will have to circle and talk to their teacher about. This is also great real life practice because asking another for help (especially if that person is deemed an authority figure) takes a lot of courage. It is hard to admit we need help and don't know what to do so let them burn lots of safe easy reps building this skill set before it becomes a necessity.
Focus on building GOOD HABITS
Overall our child's education is one of those investments who's importance can't be stressed enough. So take the power struggle out of homework time by approaching this together with a positive mindset. Who knows... you might just both learn a little something along the way.
Completing homework assignments and having good study habits as a child scholastically progresses aren't necessarily the same thing. It is important for our growing child to not only be able to focus and sit to/complete a task, but also to review material, take notes, retain information, view the big picture, and stay organized. These good study habits if instilled now will set our child up for academic and professional success in the future. So take the time to build these habits up. Let them see you use good organizational habits in managing bills or the family calendar, let them ask questions about budgeting, show them that reading for pleasure on topics that interests you is good. Help them study material in different ways. We all learn differently so have some fun finding what learning style matches your child best; be it flash cards, active listening, color coded note taking, the options are truly endless. Taking the time to do this now will prepare them to rock high school and college later. Remediation and study classes are just as expensive as the ones that help you get your degree so save yourself and your child some money in the future by taking the time to tackle and instill these habits now.
Overall our child's education is one of those investments who's importance can't be stressed enough. So take the power struggle out of homework time by approaching this together with a positive mindset. Who knows... you might just both learn a little something along the way.
#RaiseAWarrior
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