Warrior Worthy New Year's Resolutions

     New Year’s are a magical time, the promise of a fresh start, and the opportunity to recreate ourselves and leave the bad habits of last year behind. I mean who doesn’t love the hope of new beginnings? Parents are especially fond of the idea. We like to dream of our children being more respectful, kinder, or more responsible in their day to day lives. As parent’s, we look at how short childhood is and vow to make it our priority to be more present with our kids this year, or to be more patient, and more focused on giving them more quality time and attention. 

      After all, this year’s going to be different! We can just feel it! However big our wishes or desires, without a plan it truly is just a dream. A mere fantasy step towards realizing the goals we want. Change is difficult. And lasting change is even more so. Without the conscious minute to minute, day to day exercise of our determination and will to succeed our resolutions will begin to fizzle and fuzz out as our good intentions weaken in the face of all the work it will takes to succeed and overcome the obstacles in our way. And before February has truly had the chance to come make its mark, our good intentions are bottled up and stored away until the promise of a new beginning kindles that passionate hope once more.

      Here at Warrior’s Way we believe that goals are crushed one tiny step in the right direction at a time. Sometimes those little steps are like striking gold with your Warrior. We make a seemingly insignificant change to our daily routine, an adjustment in how we discipline our child, or a more conscious effort in how we communicate with our family. Surprisingly that change seems to work. That tiny step begins truly improving our family life and this small change sticks around far longer than we thought possible. These small changes cascade towards a more positive home environment. The hard part is to take that first step and then stick with it.

      As a family unit, our goals shouldn’t solely be focused on just us, but also a joint effort that we are all working towards. So as you gather your families about you to ring in the New Year try to get everyone involved in the resolution process. The linked article has some really great family resolutions that we at the Way have all been working on in our own homes (especially the first three, such easy small focus changes). In addition we would like to encourage having dinner as a family at least once a week and making your family dinner time an electronic free zone.

      We know that good parents, even Black Belt level ones, aren’t perfect. And that is totally okay. There is no secret formula for us to follow, but there are way simple ways we can grow with our family every day. So commit to changing together this year no matter how big or small. After all, it’s the journey not the destination that makes this misadventure of parenting so grand. Whether your resolutions become new habits or are total flops, the best part is that you’re doing it together and daily trying to make each other better. So enjoy the little things this winter break, try a new habit or focus in your home this New Year’s, and we’ll be here… on your team and at your back when we get back in 2024.

We hope you have the best of New Year’s Warriors! 

We'll see you on the mat in January

  

#RaiseAWarrior

A Very Merry Bucket List

     When you’re a child, December is literally the looooooooooongest month of the year. The countdown to all of the fun holiday traditions, the return of elf on the shelf, school break, and presents seems unbearably long to our kiddos. However, all of that changes when you’re the adult with children of your own. Suddenly December becomes a dash of to do lists, holiday shopping and baking. One second its October and you’re starting to plan your gifts out and then you blink and feel like you’ve been through a holiday hurricane. You’re left surrounded by decorations you need to put away, and wondering how it's suddenly New Year’s Eve. 

     So to make your season merry and bright we threw together this Christmas bucket list filled with fun things to do that are practically free. So here's a perfect list of magical moments. We hope this helps you keep the “oh man” I forgot so and so's present to a minimum and also gets you and your family into the true spirit of the holidays… making memories with your loved ones and enjoying time with each other during this time of holiday cheer and giving.

   

Happy Holiday season y'all!

From your favorite Warriors at

#RaiseAWarrior

Building Good Habits With Your Warrior: Gratitude

     This week we wanted to share some simple ways for you and your family to make having an attitude of gratitude the norm in your home. Because gratitude is a mindset it doesn't take much to switch. Just some concentrated effort. So here are five steps (that take 10 minutes or less to complete) that will help you build this habit with your family and start having a happier home life today...

Recognizing Life's Roses:

     Having a moment of thanks each day with our family is so important. It's a great opportunity to decompress, share the highlights of the day, and check in with each other. And with regular practice, some good can be found in even the darkest of days. One way this can regularly be done is when the family is gathered at dinner time. Growing up I had a friend who's family shared the "roses" of their day at dinnertime. Essentially the things that made us happy and we were grateful for were life's roses. Their family made it a goal to 'stop and smell (or reflect on) the roses' at each meal they were gathered too. You could also share a thorn of the day (or something that wasn't good), but only if you shared a rose before and after so everything ended on a good note. This practice is a simple and fun one that helps teach a child to count their blessings and recognize the silver linings in life. It's human nature to see the glass half-empty from time to time -- our kids are no exception. But when we cultivate an attitude of gratitude in our home we are recognizing that life is about perspective more than circumstance. This habit teaches resilience and helps us refocus on the positives in life that are often overlooked.

Thank You Notes Matter:

     Handwritten thank you notes are becoming a dying art. But it truly is a perfect way to encourage kids to express their gratitude in a creative way. And there are so many opportunities to thank another for doing something special for us throughout the year. Coaches, teachers, families who host sleep overs, after a birthday party, a hand written note or picture goes a long way towards spreading joy and sharing your gratitude. Plus it's one of those habits that if you start them young, your child will naturally carry throughout life. So keep thank you notes in your home. Set an example by writing a few of your own throughout the year. After all, the world needs more kindness in it so strive to raise a child who leaves other's better than they found them.

     

Gratitude Journals:

     There are a lot of studies that show happy, successful people, take the time to keep a journal. Whether this is a few quick bullet points throughout the week of highlights or a list of things that make you happy, having something you can look back on during life's lows has so many benefits. So take the time to reflect on the good things going on in your life. No matter how things are going it definitely boosts your mood when you practice gratitude. Plus having a journal filled with your child's wishes, blessings, and drawings is a priceless keepsake that both of you can enjoy for years to come. And who know... if you get into the habit your child might also cherish these insights into you as you both grow older.

Give "Things" In Moderation:

     We want to make our children happy. It's a part of being a good parent. From the time they first looked up at us, grasped our hand, said our name, or said "I love you" it has been one of our main goals. We want to give our children the best we can-- all the things we loved from our childhood and all the things we wished had been a part of ours. But there is a lot of worth in moderation. Buying all the things does not replace missed time and experiences shared with your loved ones. So yes, give what you can to your child, but don't feel like they need the newest iPhone or gaming system. Those material things will have greater worth to them if given in moderation. When a child sees what it takes to have all those things they will appreciate it more, than if their every whim and wish is granted seemingly from thin air. As they get older having a child chip in their own money towards a goal is also a great way to teach gratitude and help them respect the hard work that is demonstrated in order for them to have the things they want. Growing up we had to save our own money for souvenirs on vacations. Only one souvenir we wanted would be covered during the entire trip by our parents. This made us appreciate our covered souvenir and the hard work of saving/having money so much more because when you're going on a three week road trip there's no time to turn back for that stuffed bear that is now 100+ miles away. So put the emphasis less on things and take the time to recognize the work that it took for it to get there.

     

Self Gratitude:

     Finally this last one is specifically for you parents. A lesser known form of gratitude is self-gratitude or self-care. Practicing self-care is about being grateful for yourself, what you have, and this marvelous life around you. By making this a habit, you can shift your thinking to be more positive and grateful overall. So focus on self care once a week. Treat yourself just because. And don't feel like this is a purely monetary treat. Set aside some time to do something that brings you joy. Whatever your passion or way to unwind we want you to spend a few selfish moments with yourself. We parents work hard and our family needs us far beyond normal business hours. So take a moment to fill yourself up. We fill others best, when we ourselves are filled. So take a grateful moment for yourself to be the priority, take a moment to breathe and refresh. This is important not just for you, but for your family as well. So take the time to fill yourself up, then you can return to your life and duties refreshed and with a grateful heart.

     So there you have it. A quick list of easy actionable steps that will help you and your family make gratitude a habit. And speaking from experience, we had our adult students and instructors focus on gratitude for a 30 day Alpha Goals challenge this year and the results were amazing. When you take a moment to recognize how many things you have to be grateful for that you previously took for granted you will be amazed at the change in your outlook and happiness level. So take those first steps to become happier and healthier. Go be stronger and more grateful from here on out. This isn't just pretty words dumped neatly into a blog. This is a call to greatness and a simple step towards making the rest of your life better.

#RaiseAWarrior 

        Thanksgiving is one of those classic holidays loved by many and with good reason. It's a time to gather together, share a meal of abundance and give thanks for all the good in our lives, be it large or small. And it is also an amazing opportunity to teach our children what the holiday is all about: Gratitude. 

      Gratitude is one of those traits that is truly life changing. It allows us to step outside of our own self interest and helps us understand that the goodness in our lives is due in part to the people and circumstances around us. Especially as a kid, most of the good they experience in life wouldn't be possible without the love of the people in their lives. Those things are privileges that aren't always given or earned. 

     So if you're looking to foster a greater practice of gratitude in your homes this month we've got you covered. Studies have shown that full fledged gratitude occurs in four parts. And while your younger child may not be consistently hitting all of these marks we've got some advice on how to increase your child's awareness so they can start making a habit of gratitude. 

Noticing:

     The first step in any journey is awareness. You have to start recognizing the things you have to be grateful for before you can start being grateful. And this is true regardless of age. Maybe your child already see's the good in their lives but maybe this is still a work in progress. Parent's can lead by example and offer guided questions to foster increased awareness of the great things in their life outside of their power. Here are some examples to get you going -

• What do you have in your life that you are grateful for?
•  Are 'things/objects/gifts' the only thing you have to be grateful for?
• What gifts have you been given that you can't physically hold in your hand?
• Are you grateful for any of the people in your life? 
• Why are you grateful for him/her?

Questions like these help your child learn to recognize that there is so much more to be thankful for then just physical gifts. Helping them realize this early on will help them be less materialistic, selfish, and more self aware.

Thinking:

     Once your child or teen begins to start noticing unprompted all the people and things that help make their life great it's time to start teaching them to think about why have they been giving those things. Ask them questions like

• Why do you think you received this gift?
• Do you think you should do something in return?
• Do you think you earned this gift?
• Did the giver have to give you that gift?

As they start to realize they cannot do enough or be enough to earn all the kindness and love they are receiving they start to value those personalized gifts and effort even more than before. Now their gratitude for gifts, acts of service or love and the time people invest in them is starting to take wing.

Feeling:

     Gratitude is an emotional experience. It is so much more than a hurried thank you or a quick note of appreciation. And it can drastically impact your overall happiness and satisfaction in life. Isn't that what every parent wants. So start asking pointed questions to help them connect their positive feelings to the gifts they've received.

• How you feel when you received this gift?
• What about the gift makes you feel happy?
• How can you share your joy and excitement with them?
• Are there ways you can pass that joy and happiness on?

Doing:

     Gratitude is an experience that is meant to be shared and expressed. And there are so many fun ways to do that regardless of age. So whether you a family who writes thoughtful thank you(s), pays it forward, makes heartfelt gifts, does random acts of kindness, or shows your gratitude with some quality time and memories together, make sure you lead by example and teach your kiddos that the final part of gratitude is doing something about what you're feeling. After all the best feelings in life are meant to be shared and expressed. You've got this Warrior parents!

#RaiseAWarrior 

A Formula for Empowered Children

     As parents nothing is more frustrating than when your child doesn't try hard enough to accomplish something you know they are perfectly capable of. It is especially worrisome if this behavior continues and starts to become the new norm. After all in today's competitive culture we know that a can-do attitude is essential. So how do we start empowering our children today to give them confidence in their abilities to succeed?

     The secret lies in goal setting. Goals are essential to progress. They are the benchmarks that give our life a sense of direction, fulfillment and hope for a better tomorrow. Without clearly defined goals it is simply too easy to begin existing from one day to the next. That's why every year our guilty conscience prompts us to make resolutions. We may have success for a month or two, but usually the average adult starts to slide back into habitual routines after that.

     As parents we want our children to be even stronger than we are. It's not enough that they do what we tell them or follow the rules because we said so. We need warrior children to see that goals have real value so this trait is internalized and a guiding light when we are no longer around. Our children need to believe in the power of goal setting and adopt a lifestyle of goals for themselves and it's our job to help them do that.

     Martial arts in and of itself is a clear demonstration of goal setting, both in a long term and short term sense. Your child is required to work short term to master techniques so that they might achieve more long term goals like a level up or even the coveted Black belt status. Even so we know that it takes more than a bit of mat time practice to make goal setting an integral part of your warrior's character.

     In class we talk about the value and importance of goal setting, but truly we are counting on y'all as parents to really bring this message home and make it a part of your every day life. The following article offers some insight on starting this process within your family. Bottom line we hope it encourages you and your warrior to begin modeling a lifestyle of goal setting on and off of the mat.

     Lastly we wanted to offer some quick tips to help assure your child's success while you and your warrior set new goals:

1. Make sure your warrior has the necessary skills and knowledge to achieve their goal. Kids have very active imaginations and it is up to us to foster their creativity while introducing a little bit of realistic expectations of their current, yet ever changing, abilities.
2. Take a look at whose help your warrior needs to achieve this goal. We are the spring board from which children leap from. It is up to us to make sure they have all the support they could possibly need. This requires us to have realistic expectations of our own time and availability during our warrior's new goal path.
3. See if your child has enough time to achieve this goal. Make sure the goals you are both setting aren't spreading your warrior too thin. It seems like our children have boundless energy, but when too many things are introduced to their plate too soon we might see a decline in other life areas (i.e. academics) that are also important to their success and future.
4. Most of all set some new goals yourself! Our kiddos emulate their heroes and that is us. We can't expect our children to crush goals when we aren't living what we preach. Prevent overwhelm and set yourself up for success by planning out every step required to succeed rather than just a resolution style statement. You'll be amazed at the difference it makes in your whole family's life. 

Happy goal setting! 

See you on the mat.

Help your Child Set Goals With these Steps

#RaiseAWarrior

Family: Building Up Our Most Important Team

Henry Ford is famous for saying “Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success.” Now we all know good ole Mr. Ford was referring to building cars, but the truth is why should our families be any different? Families at their core are teams. In fact they are the first and most irrevocably pivotal team we are a part of. Each individual family member brings personality, strengths, and weaknesses to the group. As a family we have shared history and common goals we are all striving towards. We need our team, our families, to help us learn, live, and grow through the good, the bad, and the ugly. This is not a journey that can easily be mastered alone or without individuals who care for you and have your back.

As tiny future adults we know that our children need to be able to work effectively in a team. Good teamwork is an essential skill required to be successful in the work force, in all types of relationships, and in the founding of their own family units. Knowing this, it is easy for us to see how important it is to teach and practice good family teamwork within your home. Family members who work together help balance each other’s strengths and weaknesses out and the improved cohesion brings everyone closer together and makes weathering life’s storms that much easier. Families are meant to watch out for each other, to help and take care of one another.

So how do we ensure your Warrior is an awesome teammate? There are three integral interpersonal skills necessary for effective teamwork. They include the ability to communicate, collaborate, and compromise with others. Here are some quick ways to help strengthen these three C’s of teamwork in your home:

   

Communication:

• Unresolved conflict is one of the number one things that strains families. Most people fear conflict, but productive conflict is a part of every healthy relationship. Setting aside time to resolve conflict gives us an opportunity to debate and discuss in a positive way while learning from each other. It also prevents the building of insurmountable emotional walls that happens when we avoid our problems and allows us to address things while they are still ‘small’ and as they arise.
• Good communication and conflict resolution are learned behaviors. They are not natural attributes gifted to us; it requires hard work and a lot of it. This has to be a priority in your home for it to become a habit. Setting aside time throughout the day or week to air out hurts or misunderstood actions, it will be a healing balm and bring everyone closer together. Who knew that conflict could be so win-win?

Collaborate:

• The easiest way to promote unity in the home by clearly defining individual’s roles within the home. Everyone has a job and a role to serve on a team. Even the littlest member can still be a huge help to the goals of the whole family. This can be taught by assigned household chores and by giving children opportunities to help out other family members. This can be as simple as helping carry the groceries in or having an older sibling mentor a younger and help them with their chores or by picking out an outfit. Praise group efforts frequently and celebrate the individual skill sets each child has that makes them excel in their assigned or assisted tasks.

Compromise:

• We all are guilty of being too focused within our own world to truly see other’s thoughts, feelings, and needs. For very young and naturally egocentric children it is even harder. Teach your Warrior the importance of compromise by respecting each other’s opinions and abilities no matter how great or small. This can be practiced by having an older child meet a younger’s needs by having them delay instant gratification to play with or help a sibling first, to cheer or praise the accomplishments of others in the family no matter how big or small, and to inquire about the best part of someone’s day before talking about their own. These are huge steps that will aid them in hearing other’s ideas and finding a happy medium that meets both individual’s needs mentally, emotionally, and physically.

     We hope that instilling these principles in your home, coupled with the month’s Warrior mat chats will help you see a huge difference in the atmosphere of your home. Teamwork isn’t something that happens overnight so don’t be discouraged. You may have some resistance at first, but as everyone learns their roles and puts in more effort everything will start to run a lot smoother. And don’t forget communication is the key! Whether it’s airing out hurt feelings or admitting we are struggling with completing assigned tasks, set aside time for your family to talk together. Sports teams meet, practice, and talk multiple times a week to be successful, so consider instilling a weekly family meeting to help everyone stay on track.

     As teamwork becomes more of a habit within your home we hope you start to reap the benefits of a stronger family unit. Working together makes everyone feel good whether you are the helper or the one being helped. And knowing that your family is open to different ideas and always safe to talk too will reap huge dividends in the tumultuous teenage years. Because the more we instill that team family is there to back you up in times of trouble the less stressful and potentially serious individual struggles are. You are the most important team in each other’s lives so go make each other stronger. Because after all… doesn’t your family deserve the best you can give them?

Happy Team Building Y’all! 

The Importance of Family Teamwork

#RaiseAWarrior

Looking for more ways to practice your teamwork? 

Step out of your element and let your Warrior show you a thing or two about martial arts

We'd love to see you on the mat!!! 

Join us on the mat each month for Family Participation Days. 

(Upcoming family participation days are September 25th and 26th) 

#FamilyTimeIsTheBestTime

Teaching Your Child To Choose Good Friends

      Friendships are an integral part of life for many of us. And whether those relationships have lasted a decade or are just newly begun we know that having friends takes a lot of work. For along with all of that fun, laughter, support, and memory making also comes the occasional conflict, hurt feelings, anger or sadness. Knowing the importance of relationships in our lives, it's important that we give our children the tools to find good friends, and become good friends themselves. Here's some good ways to start.

Start with Self Esteem

      The first step in teaching our children to be good friends is to teach them to be good to themselves. A child who is confident and comfortable with their own self worth is less like to fall into toxic relationships, to join in on bullying and to seek others to fill an emotional void within. So praise their handwork and successes. Take the time to highlight their best attributes regularly. By teaching them to be good to themselves you are also setting them up to be a great friend to others.

Model Good Friendships

      Our children are learning from us even when we feel like they aren't really paying attention. And the way we treat our peers sets the framework for how they will treat their friends. So take the time to check in, surround yourself with positive people, and invest time and energy into nurturing those meaningful friendships. They're likely to do the same.

Define A Good Friend

      There are many characteristics that make a good friend. Many of these like honesty, kindness, being a good listener are things we regularly teach our child at home. Keep up those strong character building lessons helps ensure they not only take those qualities into their interactions with the rest of the world but that they are also seeking them out. An easy way to check in is to ask your child how being around a certain friend made them feel. Do they feel built up, happy, supported and energized? Or does being around a certain person only tear them down. These questions can help your child discern whether the person they want to hang out with is a wise or poor choice. And this is such an important lesson since they will continue to choose their friends regardless of our input especially as they get older.

Exploring Common Interests

     In the beginning shared time or interest is what starts to bind budding friendships together. Maybe they're in the same class, play on the same street, are in martial arts class together, or are simply the same age. These seemingly mundane beginnings can be nurtured into the kind of friendships that keeps them joined at the hip. So help your child explore their interests and try new things. These new experiences and having things in common that they enjoy doing together can help foster many young friendships.

Appreciating the Differences

     Of course friends don't have to be alike to be successful. Every individual has special qualities they bring to the relationship. So teach your child to recognize others' unique gifts and celebrate each others differences. Point out to your child what admirable traits you notice about their friends. It will help them value and seek out those qualities in others. Plus friends who are different bring many opportunities to learn, grow and try new things. 

Teach Conflict Resolution

     Friends don't always agree or get along with each other perfectly. In order for them to be successful we have to teach our children to manage those little conflicts. Because helping our children learn how to accept responsibility for their actions, apologize and move forward are essential skills to all future relationships they will have. 

(FOR OLDER KIDS) Look at Quantity vs Quality

      As our children get older and begin to navigate the social circles of middle and high school their view of friendship can start to shift. The "in" thing becomes more about popularity than creating deep and meaningful bonds. So help your child understand the difference in quantity vs quality of friends. And encourage them to seek out the latter because it is much more valuable and worthwhile friend to have.

     Bottom line is we cannot choose our child's friends for them their whole life. I mean you can try, but that historically never goes well. So whether you like your child's friends or are concerned about them focus on being a positive influence. And remember you can start instilling this friendship framework and mentality no matter where you are in your journey. So open a dialogue with your child on what makes a good friend. Check in with them on how they feel after spending time with someone. And always embody the values you want your child to seek out. Just by your family living your life and having their friends over (even if they aren't your favorite) you can be an influence for good.

#RaiseAWarrior 

 

A Warrior Parent's Guide to Handling Bullies

    

     When we sit down with our parents and students who struggle with bullies we realize that some important pillars of self defense are unknown or often overlooked by the well meaning adults in a child's life. We see courtesy and respect reports regularly that state "he won't hit back", or "she's afraid to defend herself." We do not want hitting to be your child's first response to bullying. We do not teach that. Unless someone is physically attacking you, most bullying situations can be resolved through these steps below. It takes a lot more courage to try these overlooked pillars of self defense than it does to get into a school yard scuffle. It also allows your Warrior to stand up for other bullied children without resorting to physical offense and the repercussions of the school system's zero tolerance stance that is guaranteed to follow. We've seen these steps do a lot of good in countless lives and we hope that by sharing this it will help all our Warrior families prevent bullying and handle it more effectively should they encounter it.

Be Assertive

     Bullies seek out an easy target they can intimidate. They are counting on the victim to say or do nothing about the bullying. Shutting down a bully can be as simple as telling them to "Stop!" or that you 'will tell an adult.' This cannot be done in a meek or timid voice. It cannot sound like a plea. The bully wants their victim to sound scared or beg. They want that power. So the first pillar of self defense is to 

(1) BE ASSERTIVE AND DON'T GIVE THE BULLY THE POWER THEY WANT

When a warrior speaks with confidence and the bully understands your child means business and will not easily be cowed, often that is enough. Why try and get a rise from a little warrior when there are easier children to pick on? So practice assertive and confident language. Utilize it in your home every chance you get. It is a skill who's benefits extend far beyond grade school self defense. 

Verbally De-escalate 

     Many bullies attack very real flaws that we are already aware of. We know if we are slow, fat, dumb, have pimples, if our Momma is fat, or if our parent's are getting a divorce. We know it. This isn't the first time we've heard or thought these things. The bully is trying to get an emotional response out of us so they feel powerful and in control. So the next pillar of self defense is to verbally de-escalate a bullying situation by

(2) MAKING A JOKE OR AGREEING WITH THE BULLY

For some of the funnier class clown types this response to bullying comes natural. But whether this comes naturally or is a little force it demonstrates a lot of confidence. You have to be confident and very secure in yourself to not be bothered when someone points out a flaw or weakness. You have to be a warrior and more in control of yourself and your emotions so you don't give into the easier knee jerk emotional response to a hurtful truth. When you can laugh or agree with a bully, it diffuses the power they thought they had. It can catch them off guard and makes their methods ineffective. 

Walk Away

     Bullies win when they gain a response from their victims or when they have an audience who makes them feel powerful. We all know how awful it is to be ignored or experience a cold shoulder. So our third self defense pillar is to 

(3) WALK AWAY WITH YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH

We need our kids to understand that walking away from pointless confrontation isn't cowardly, it's mature. A Warrior fights for things that are right and worth his (or her's) time. They do not stoop to the bully's level. So ignore them and proudly walk away. There is nothing that says you have to stay and listen to their garbage. And with no one to listen to them, or make them feel powerful a bully can quickly move on to other targets.

Use Physical Self Defense
     When all alternatives to physical confrontation have been exhausted, or if you are being physically harmed then it is important that a Little Warrior knows to trust and use their training. Sometimes you just can't avoid a fight. 

(4) YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO DEFEND YOURSELF AND STAND UP FOR WHAT IS RIGHT 

You can and should defend yourself physically if you are being attacked physically. But it is also important that your Warrior has a realistic expectation about the consequences that will follow. If your Warrior uses self defense, even if it is justified, there is a high probability that they will punished along with the bully. This is because of school's stand on bullying and fighting. It is very hard to prove to an outsider who the aggressor is when it comes to a school yard brawl. So be prepared for the 

                                              likelihood of some scholastic repercussions.

     Bottom line is that as parents we pray our little one is never faced with bullying or having to utilize their self defense skill. However, it never hurts to be prepared. Having an anti-bullying action plan in place before such a thing occurs goes a long way towards preventing it from becoming prolonged or going too far. 

#RaiseAWarrior

Investing In Your Kids In a Busy Season

 Investing In Your Kids In a Busy Season 

Sports practices, dinners on the go, lunchboxes left on the counter in the morning, running out the door to get to the next thing.  Sound familiar? For a lot of families, back to school is a season of busyness. While busyness may be the routine we are familiar with for the fall, it doesn’t have to be the defining factor of this season. Our goal is to find creative ways to be intentional and bond with our kids despite a busy schedule. Every time you enter your child’s world and intentionally spend time to bond with them, you are investing time into them and who they are becoming. Like all humans, children crave connection. We want to build a bond with our kids and invest in them daily so that when our kids are struggling, they will go to the person who has been investing in them for help. 

Here are 3 ways you can invest in your kids despite a busy schedule this fall. 

1. 
   Car rides:  In the fall, a lot of us spend quite a bit of time in the car driving kids to and from activities. One easy way to invest in your kids during this time is to spend the first few minutes of the car ride talking. A lot of times when we try to ask our kids how their day was, we get a “fine” or “good”. One way we can go beyond that is to try to share a high and a low. (The best part of their day and the worst part of their day.) Your child may need a minute to just breathe when they get into the car before they are asked questions. You can give them that breather and still connect with them by sharing your high and low for the day first. I like to start with the low when I’m sharing and end with the high to leave the conversation on a positive note. After you share, it will probably remind your child of something from their day that they want to share. This helps build the habit of your child feeling comfortable sharing not only the good things in life, but also the hard things with you as well. This is an investment that will be well worth the time and energy when your child is going through something hard and they come to you to share or get advice. 
   

2. Notes: Another way you can bond with your child is by leaving an encouraging note for them where they will see it. If you pack a lunch for your child, you could stick one in their lunchbox. If they don’t pack a lunch, you could put one in their take home folder for them to see when they get to school. If your child is older and driving, you could place a note in their car for them to see on their way to school. Teenagers, like kids, also crave to be seen, known, and loved by those in their closest circles. Written words of affirmation can go a long way for kids who are a little more quiet and aren’t as quick to share what is on their mind. Each note speaks intentionality to your child and is an investment showing that you care. 

3. Family Night: Schedule a weekly, biweekly, or monthly family night. Family nights can vary with the seasons and don’t have to be a huge financial investment. The important thing is that on your scheduled family nights, it is a norm that phones and technology are put to the side. Game nights are great for family nights. Board games are an inexpensive way to spend time together on a Friday or Saturday night. In a world that is constantly on the go, shows that are constantly changing scenes, and games that are constantly flashing bright lights- board games can actually help young kids increase their focus and attention which will benefit them in other aspects of life, such as school. Movie nights are another way you can spend time together as a family. Choose a movie that has an underlying moral lesson that aligns with your family values and spark a conversation about it with your family.

Sometimes being intentional, especially in a busy season, takes a little bit of creativity, but have fun with it! Take some of the most busy parts of your schedule and make it into a time that you look forward to spending with your kids and making memories. By being intentional about the conversations you are having with your kids and the time you are spending with them, you are investing in them. Keep fighting the good fight in confidence that the investment will be well worth it. 

Helping Your Child Succeed During The School Year & Beyond

 

            Another school year has begun and while grades are a concern for future us we know how important it is for our children to do well academically. While bad grades aren’t necessarily a determinate of how your child’s future will shape out it does denote a certain lack of prioritizing, time management, self-discipline, dedication, and hard work. All of which are life changing skills that if mastered help your growing child be successful. This week we wanted to talk about positive ways you can help your child motivate themselves to do better in school rather than trying to force it.

Introducing the "When you" rule

            Sometimes we don’t have the necessary discipline to be self-starters, the same is true for our children especially when it comes to homework. The “when you” rule can help build that skill and it’s the sort of real-world consequences our child needs to recognize. For example for us the rule is when we work we get paid. Our actions in the beginning lead to positive consequences later. So how does that work in your home? Start saying things like “When your homework is completed, we can discuss you going to that sleep over” or “When you finish studying you are welcome to play video games, outside, with your friend, etc.” Then stick to your guns and do what you said. No video games until homework. No talking of birthday parties, ice cream, or sleep overs until that assignment is done. Your child must learn to delay gratification and do their work before they get to play and this is a great tip to help them do just that.

Create structure

            Your child’s homework and bad grades are not your responsibility after a certain age. It is their job, but you can help structure their day to help them succeed. This requires a little acknowledgement that each of our children are different. Some kids need a little down time to decompress before they focus again, for some that de-rails them and they will never be able to get back into work mode. Use who your child is help them create an After School schedule and routines. Do they need a snack first? Can they do it in a centralized area or is that too distracting? Does doing homework on their bed lead to a nap or endless scrolling? Do they need device free periods set aside to succeed? I mean if schools have no device times so can your home. Work with your child to find what works best for them within the bounds of what you can handle to enforce.

Break assignments into manageable pieces

            I am a pro-procrastinator unless I immediately break big projects into smaller pieces with little deadlines. That took a lot of trial and error to learn. Sometimes our kids take charge and can tackle big assignments with little aid but sometimes this isn’t a skill that comes naturally and they might need some help turning weaker traits of their personality into strengths. When they get new assignments talk to them about it. Communicate and see if your child feels they need help breaking an assignment into smaller pieces or if they want to try and manage it themselves. Then let it be. Once you decide on a plan see it through for better or worse. You are there to teach them not micromanage everything they do. Good grades aren’t truly their success if you had to plead and fight them every step of the way. Introduce them to various tools to help with this and discover what methods mesh with them and which ones do not for example I am a pen to paper always kind of person. Digital is good for reminders of things out of the norm like doctor’s appointment, but I do much better if everything else involves me writing it down and making a plan or lists of what I need to accomplish.

Don't over function for your child

            It is nerve wracking and frustrating to see your child struggle, not take something seriously and not fulfill their potential. You may feel pressure that your child’s lack of good grades reflects poorly on you as a parent. In response we go into overdrive to cope with our feelings of shame, embarrassment, and failure. Resist the temptation. Your anxiety and over functioning projected on your child doesn’t help them or you function better. In fact, it often causes things to go downhill even faster. Give your child a framework or model of successful structure and then let them do the work. They must bear the consequences, good or bad, to grow. You are a coach in the sidelines. You give direction and set the strategy, but you cannot make the play yourself. Failure is a natural part of growing up and learning. ‘Protecting’ your child from failure isn’t for their benefit, but rather our own feelings and insecurities.

Final thoughts don't obsess over the future

                It is easy for our fears and concerns about our child’s education to fast forward to the future. I don’t know about you, but my crystal ball isn’t working so I choose to ignore it and not play the what if game. Hyper focusing on the negative things your child is doing is tricky because it can cause us to lose sight of the positives and sets us both up for a long and difficult journey. One bad grade isn’t an indicator of your child’s entire future. If there are several it might be time to check in with them and their teacher as well as yourself and where your family is at. Often grades reflect what stressors are going on in life. We will all have our share of highs and lows. Being a good human isn’t academics or success so keep the big picture in mind. Is your child helpful, kind, hardworking, teachable? Those traits can propel them through the natural highs and lows of academics and life. Those traits are more important than a single B or not being Valedictorian. I literally failed college tennis, but it wasn’t a stumbling block for me just a blip. Breathe Warrior parents. You’ve got this and so does your growing Warrior.

 #RaiseAWarrior 

Teachable Moments

Teachable Moments

What is a teachable moment? Honestly, they come up daily and we don't even realize it. When our kids ask "why?" or push back when we tell them to do something, that is a teachable moment. Children ask questions because they are usually just curious and trying to learn and grow. They want to understand why things are the way they are. Usually from a selfish standpoint of wanting to do what they want to do and instead of what you are telling them to do. We just hear them question our motives and constantly asked "why, why, why" so often that we have a filter of "because I said so" or "I am your mother" without even realizing that we are shutting down their questions that lead to growth.  We are so busy with adult issues and life that explaining the WHY behind why we need to go to bed at a decent hour or not eat tons of sugar seems silly. But honestly, it isn't. Not to our children.

A child's curiosity can definitely be frustrating. Especially when WHY is their favorite word and they ask it ALLLLLL the time. But curiosity can be healthy (to an extent.) If they ask why when they know the answer they are just testing you. But if they are genuinely curious, we should teach them! How can they understand following rules but at the same time know healthy boundaries and when someone is trying to take advantage of their naivety or kindness? Wouldn't it be better if WE taught them our values and morals before someone else does? Someone else that might not match up with our expectations for our children. 

When your kiddo is arguing or disagreeing with a sibling, cousin, friend you can teach them HOW to problem solve. It is one of the best things we can offer our children. It is also one of my favorite things to do at Warrior's Way. Getting kids to really think about what they are wanting, needing, why, and how they would feel if the roles were reversed. How to solve a problem on their own without having to yell or be mean to get back at someone. Wouldn't it be nice if your kiddo grew up with the tools to nicely get what they want? It isn't magic, it won't happen overnight, they will learn these lessons daily. But wouldn't it be great if you walked into a room of kids playing because you heard shouting and your kiddo is in the middle trying to help them talk it out and solve their own issues?

Another very simple example could be brushing their teeth before bed. That can be a battle for tons of parents. Because honestly it is annoying to stop playing and go do such a silly mundane task. But if you explain the WHY behind dental hygiene they will never forget it and hopefully stop pushing back. Nobody wants to loose all their teeth at 22, right?!

Sometimes these teachable moment happen in a more scary and serious moment unlike simple tasks like the brushing of ones teeth. For example your kiddo might hate holding your hand when you walk through the parking lot "Why do I have to hold your hand when we cross the street?" If we just use our easy quick responses how will they REALLY know the seriousness behind that simple request. So take just a moment to tell them that "sometimes people driving won't notice a little kid and they could get really hurt?" Even ask them a question, "How would you/or how would I feel if something bad happened to you and you got hurt?!" Putting kids in a situation and asking how THEY would feel in that moment are important. It clicks for them. After that most likely they won't push back anymore because they would understand the why and never forget that very small but meaningful lesson. It also builds trust. Your kiddo will know that the things you ask of them usually have a pretty good reason behind them! Communication is KEY!

As a parent, teacher or mentor we should always look for these moments and take the time to TEACH. Whether it is in that exact moment or when our schedule isn't so hectic. We should always teach the WHY. These kiddos won't absorb what we tell them or really care/understand the reason behind why we do what we do unless we give them the WHY! Or even lead by example. They pick up on what we do. Children are sponges, they absorb EVERYTHING we do or say. Insignificant things to us might stick to them.

So let's start today! Teach those babies every moment you can! We are raising the next generation. Wouldn't it be amazing if they left our homes with the tools to conquer the world? Imagine what they could accomplish! Imagine WHO they could be because they know WHY we act with integrity every day.

It is okay to start this anytime, at any age. We are all learning and growing.

You've got this! We've got this!

We are all in this together.