Meanies Vs. Bullies: A Warrior's Guide

     Bullying is at the forefront of constant news stories today. We have become a culture of whistle blowers who proudly tout ourselves, along with the school system, as zero tolerance. And yet bullying continues to happen every day. We hear about it from you and your kiddos all the time. But when we look deeper into each of these situations a trend starts to become apparent. The term bullying is being used to liberally. Every little mean thing that happens in today’s school system has become bullying. But this watering down of bullying is not in fact addressing the underlying problem.

    So what is bullying truly? Well it definitely is not meanness. And this is an important distinction. Because we want our children to grow up and be strong. We want them to be able to recognize the meanness that people put out into the world and to be able to cope with it. And we want them to be able to recognize a true bully for what they are and stand up against them. This has to be our goal. Or else the real victims of bullying can never be helped. If the system is so backed up with every school yard meanie then the true bullies get to continue unchecked. We have to be the change. Stopping bullying begins in our homes. We are the first line of defense. And every character trait we impart to our Little Warriors starts that change and strengthens their ability to handle conflict and navigate relationships.

     Enter the classic meanie. Meanies are awful to deal with, but they are truly an opportunity for you child to grow. Overcoming meanies allows a child to learn how not to treat other people, to learn empathy, honesty, bravery, and to recognize true friendship. We don't want our kids to hurt, but life is tough and toxic relationships exist. We parents have a responsibility to prepare our kids for the real world. And meanness is a normal part of the real world. If we shield our child from every kid who calls them stupid, ostracizes them, hurts their feelings, spreads rumors, or is only a conditional friend; we are setting them up for failure. 

     So how do we help our child vanquish the meanies in their life? How do we help them recognize and navigate conditional or fake friends, frenemies, and the other forms of relational meanness that commonly occurs during early school years. Kids as young as 5 are constantly coming to us upset because 'little Billy is bullying them because they played during recess, but were ignored in favor of another friend at lunch.' These inconsistencies are perplexing, but not actually harmful in a lasting or physical sense. Because it 

isn't bullying. Friends come and go. It's a fact of life. It hurts when a friend isn't genuine or true, 

but these struggles continue even into adulthood. So if your child is feeling 'bullied' by the classic 

mean friend here are some tips on how to work through this and be there for your Little Warrior.

Be Confident: 

     Meanies make other's feel inferior. They reinforce the negative things we see and feel about ourselves. They're great at this because there was a time when they were nice and got to know us. This cycle of put down friendship continues far longer than it should because it reinforces the negative dialogue and insecurities we all struggle with, no matter the age. So reinforce all the positive traits your child has to offer a true friend. Combat this put-down meanie with an unbreakable armor of confidence. Your Warrior needs to know that no one deserves to be treated poorly. And as their confidence grows they will start to see this 'friend' for what they truly are... fake, mean, controlling, and not worth their time.

Find True Friends:

     Meanies are able to continue their behavior because they have a passive audience. As long as none of the friends in the group speak out and as long as your Warrior continues to endure and seek out friendship with the meanie this behavior will continue indefinitely. A Warrior has to show the meanie that their behavior is wrong and will not be tolerated. Once they've stood up for themselves and checked that behavior, they've done all they can. We have no say over what others say or do. All we have control over is our response. If a meanie chooses to continue that behavior they have that choice. But your Warrior also gets to choose if they are willing to settle for that kind of hurtful friendship. This lesson is hard, but so important to learn. It saves so much heartache in the long run. Childhood friendships are a relatively safe environment to learn when people around you are toxic. And mastery now, no matter how difficult it is, will help protect your child against toxic relationships and settling for inferior things in the future.

     Bottom line is that overcoming life's meanies is a normal part of growing up. Your Little Warrior will need your guidance during this painful transition. And although meanness is not the same as bullying, it can quickly get out of hand and escalate to such behavior. So keep an eye on it, have those difficult heart to hearts, and help remove the negativity from your child's life. You'll both be so much happier for it. And if you need, we'll be here... to back y'all up.

#RaiseAWarrior

Why At Home is the Place to Be

     We've all heard the saying... a family that ______s together stays together. You can fill this blank with any pastime imaginable, but the bottom line remains the same. When we set aside extra time to spend with our family it strengthens our bonds and keeps us close. A tight knit family unit can weather any storm. And we ensure this by investing extra during times that are a little less crazy.

      However, to get these awesome benefits we have to do so much more than family dinner or to sit next to each other on the couch watching TV as we scroll through our separate electronic devices. We have to actually take the time to hang out and get to truly know each other. Now I know this is easier said than done Warrior parents. It seems like any unplanned  lazy day in quickly becomes World War III as boredom and incessant complaints begins to rear its ugly head. And so we give in to the requests for technology time or we pile everyone in for a spontaneous theater trip hoping it will earn us some gratitude and a little bit of quiet. This relief is fleeting, however. So here's some great reasons for making staying in with the kiddos a family goal... 

1) It's cheaper: 

     Today's youth struggle with money. They spend far more than they should because they are constantly trying to buy "fun." As parent's we know that money can't always buy happiness and comes with more than its fair amount of stress when used poorly. So how do we keep our kiddos from falling trap to the constant spending pressure of society? We model all the enjoyable things that can be had without a plan or a hefty bill. And one of the best ways we can do this is by modeling and practicing this in our own homes. So skip the expensive theater this week and teach your child to find joy in the little things. Be it your own personal theater under the stars or a spontaneous cookie decorating competition, we promise it will be a more memorable and worthwhile investment than any activity money can buy.

2) It teaches contentment: 

     Social media, with its constant bombardment of picture perfect brunches and vacations, is very good at making us feel dissatisfied, behind the curve, or left out. This fear of missing out mentality is what has us scrolling through Facebook or Instagram for hours on end, even though it truly serves no point and makes us feel worse afterwards. Our children pick up on that. If you're spending every day counting down to your next big vacation, or bemoaning every mundane task of daily life than how can we expect our child to grow up feeling anything different? We need to show our children how peaceful days in can be and how even though we don't have it all we can be content, grateful, and feel blessed. This isn't to say you or your child will never be bored, or that your child won't get a bad attitude or fight with a sibling. But the truth is learning contentment in the little things of life will save your child so much heartache as they grow, because the majority of us are not and will never be millionaires.

3) It fosters creativity: 

     Life is busy. Even our kid's schedules are insane and we are all stretched too thin. Odds are this isn't going to suddenly change. We all get home and just want to shut down and veg out. Don't feel guilty. I look forward to some mind numbing Netflix just as much as everyone else. But if our kids are going from school, to after school activities, to homework, video games, tv, and then bed... where is the actual play? Where is the boredom that forces you to think outside the box and get resourceful when it comes to entertaining yourself? There is a lot to be learned about ourselves during those quiet moments without any previous expectations or requirements. So let children be bored. Let them sit around the house without electronics. Give their minds the chance to create, explore, and grow. Kids need this chance to play and the future definitely needs them to be able to think outside the box. So mix things up and seek out stolen moments of quiet unplanned time in your home.

4) It keeps YOU young: 

     Ever seen the movie 'The Help?' We get it Warrior parents: 'you is broke, you is busy, and you is tired.' Okay being the adult 24/7 isn't that bad, but you need to let some of that stress go too! And what better way than to get one on one with your little one? When was the last time you were creative? When was the last time you were outside just to be outside? When have you last done a physical activity or sport with your kid? Stress, unhappiness, and anxiety are very real problems we all have to combat. So unleash your inner kid and just play again. Let everything else fall away and enjoy the one on one time. Anything can become a game if you choose to leave your work and problems at the door. So have a fort building contest, get out the Nerf guns and play tag with them, learn a new skill together and make it a competition... the opportunities are endless if you let go of the usual adult filters and pressures we all have and try something new.

     So unlock the potential in your home. You don't have to always be on the go or spend a fortune to make the kind of childhood memories they won't ever forget. It's the quiet little moments together that make all the difference.

Change is hard, but raising a warrior is always worth it!

#RaiseAWarrior

Looking for more ways to focus on adding quality family time to your busy schedule?

Join us on the mat each month for Family Participation Days. 

(Upcoming family participation days are March 4th & 5th) 

#FamilyTimeIsTheBestTime

Our Kids Just Want to Be Heard

     "It's not fair!" "You never listen to me!" These are awful words to hear in the parenting world. These huge emotional outbursts hit our home unexpectedly and we are left wondering where we are going wrong. Our little ones are our world. So how could we not listen to them? How can they feel we aren't there for them when that is literally what we are trying to do 24/7? As adults it can be truly baffling that our child would rather shut down or act out in defiance when something is clearly bothering them. I mean we are right there to offer advice and solve their problems. But the truth is, maybe we aren't communicating with them in the best way. Maybe our knee jerk parenting reaction is making these big emotions even more difficult to handle and we are stealing valuable moments of learning and bonding that would only strengthen both us and our child. 

      Let's get real parents. We listen to our child's incessant chatter from the moment they wake to the moment they finally slip into blissfully quiet sleep. And we've gotten quite good at continuing about our daily tasks with an interment "mhm" and "that sounds awesome" when required. This is necessary to get through the day. If we stopped and gave them our undivided attention every time they want to repeat a story or tell us what little Billy said at lunch today we would never get anything done. But in the midst of a melt down these responses don't suffice. And no matter how frustrated or busy we are, we all know deep down that yelling never helps and is truly regrettable the moment it is done. So how can we meet our child's needs and handle their big emotions at the same time? The secret lives in a method called active listening. And we've got the low down all mapped out for you Warrior parents!

The main point of active listening is simple. You just listen! 

You don't solve their problems, offer solutions, make commentary, or give advice. 

You literally just listen first and empathize. 

Here's why it works...

• It helps kids better understand their feelings: giving your child time to express their big feelings out loud (without your influence) gives the child time to reflect on why this matters to them. This works at any age, trust us. It's part of why counselors are such a popular thing in today's society 
• It strengthens bonds: kids who feel understood, valued, and cared for by the important adults in their life feel closer to and are more likely to open up and come to you when they are in need
• It establishes self discipline: giving your child the opportunity to work things out as they speak (with only occasional guided problem solving) helps develop a child's internal dialogue of self correction. These work hand in hand with their ever growing moral compass to determine what kind of person they will grow to be.
• It builds self esteem: when you wait to jump in and solve their problems it shows your child you trust them to start finding their own solutions and to request help if they need it.
• Kids are more likely to listen to you: when you respect what kids have to say they feel it and are more likely to respect you in return. Not convinced? Try it on some adults in your life. It works with us too
• It creates an attitude of open communication: when we immediately jump in and offer advice we compromise this and effectively shut off open communication and the chance for expression. Creating this environment in your home early is definitely a worthy investment when you consider the inevitable teenage years

     There is of course a place and a time for our wisdom and advice giving, but rarely is it the best first response. So give it a try Warrior parents! Listen first and stall sharing your thoughts and opinions until you get the full story from their viewpoint. This humbler approach to parenting admits that we and our child are partners in this process. This habit takes time to build, but the benefits above are too worthwhile to not at least try. Your child needs to know that no matter the issue you will listen and and that together you can work through anything. This trust comes from years of feeling heard and like their intelligence and emotions are valued. So invest in an happier home today and an easier teenage transition tomorrow by making it a priority to always listen first. 

If you're interested in  looking further into this parenting method check out the article below:

Active Listening: How to Master the Skill That Will Make You a More Effective Parent

Happy parenting starts with a good plan Warrior parents!

#RaiseAWarrior

Instructor Spotlight: Miss Brooke

Miss Brooke is AWESOME! 

She's been with us nearly 5 years and we are so grateful for her. Besides keeping our Academy stocked with all of the delicious snackums, her sweet (but sassy) personality keeps everyone on their toes. She is the down to earth, genuinely kind friend that makes our team that much stronger!

The kiddos love Miss Brooke because: 

She never lets them down at snack time

She is so honest with her opinions and advice

She really is a country girl

She picks the best holiday classic movies for them to watch

A little bit more about Miss Brooke:

Miss Brooke is an awesome Warrior because she exhibits the Warrior trait of kindness. She goes out of her way to make sure everyone feels included and is never too busy to make plans and check in with everyone. She doesn't let negative attitudes get her down and that kind of stubborn optimism is an amazing attribute we hope your Little Warrior's learn from her.

A few of Miss Brooke's favorite things:

Miss Brooke is a good ole Texas gal. She loves fishing and listening to country music. Given her favorite past time we were a little surprised that her favorite movie was Finding Nemo, but that just goes to show why our students love her young heart. Maybe fish truly are her friends! Her favorite food is tacos and she dreams of someday going to Hawaii.Overall, this country horse loving girl is one of a kind 

and rainy days wouldn't be the same up at the Way without her bright pink rain boots!

Our team just wouldn't be the same without her. 

We can't thank her enough for being such a pivotal part of our team!

#RaiseAWarrior

Changing the World Starts At Home

     If you had to summarize the mission of us as warrior parents what does it boil down to? We all want to raise good kids. It’s as simple as that, but 'good' is such a relative term during childhood. Being a 'good' baby involves sleeping through the night and burping easily after every feeding. These behaviors don't necessarily translate to being a 'good' child or teen. Burping no longer is enough to constitute good behavior the older we get because expectations change. The expectations of us as parent's and society's in general fluctuate as our child matures throughout childhood. The transition moves beyond taking care of self, to considering others and contributing to the effort as a whole. As a child grows they're expected to become a good citizen.

     Now when we consider citizenship proudly repping the red, white, and blue during July, having a flag out front, or exercising your power to vote may come to mind. While those are extremely awesome and patriotic that does not cover the wealth of character it takes to truly be a good citizen. Citizenship goes far beyond laws, obedience, and patriotism. Being a good citizen is made up of a million tiny, thoughtful actions. Good citizens stand out for making where ever they go a better place. They stand up against bullies, they're welcoming neighbors, they thank our service men and women, they honor their heritage of freedom, they cooperate with others, and they serve with a smile. They genuinely want to make the world around them a better place. Imagine if that was the focus of more and more people today. Warrior parents you have the power to make the future that much better by raising strong warriors!

     Bottom line we know that teaching your Little Warrior a concept as complex and selfless as good citizenship is no small task. Especially when you're caught up in the day to day of parenting with a never ending to do list. We know it's hard to predict what the next 20 minutes of parenting will be like, let alone what kind of adult your little one will grow to be in the next 20 years. No worries Warrior parents! We take changing the world and helping raise your warrior very seriously. So we've been working on these principles during our Warrior virtue chats and we have a simple action plan to get you going at home.

     To be a good citizen you have to be responsible, respectful, and resourceful. While the article below goes into greater detail on these 3 powerful R's of citizenship we know all of these traits come from within the home. So how can we incorporate this in our day to day?

     Every child, no matter the age, should be taught to be a good 'citizen of the household'. After all this is their home, and their family. They should take pride in that and want to continually improve it. The easiest way to involve your child in being a contributing member of the family is to have them take on chores. It truly is win win. Sometime's having the extra little hand frees up time you would have spent doing it all yourself. Plus an atmosphere of helping hands and service is a great early step towards creating responsible citizens. Remember those 3 R's of citizenship... here is how these characteristics tie into chores and help us shape good future citizens of our amazing country

Responsible:

 When we as parent's always swoop in and fix everything wrong in a child's world or do everything for them we are robbing them of the important drive of responsibility. When a child doesn't pick up their toys, they consequently get broken. We can either re-buy their suddenly declared favorite toy or allow life to teach our growing warrior a very important lesson. You are responsible for not only yourself, but also your belongings. That puts value in the good things we have. As your warrior starts to value the hard work required to maintain and keep good things in our life they are on the path to becoming a more responsible citizen.

Respectful:

As a child matures and sees everything it takes to care for their home or have a cooked meal it helps them appreciate all they have. Once they begin to recognize all you do and all they have, a deeper appreciation and respect for what they've been given begins to grow. They won't grow up feeling as entitled or like the world must treat them a certain way. And as they appreciate you more and more, as they become less spoiled, their respect for you and also others will grow. This leads to that kind of open-hearted, neighborly respect and collaboration that marks great citizenship.

Resourceful: 
Everyone is different when it comes to chores, allowances and such. Growing up we had to do some work without pay. That's just how it was. Not everything you do earns you something monetary and that is a fact of life. You have to put work into every single relationship you have. That isn't always pleasant, but that unpaid labor does have worth. That truly is a great lesson many younger generations are missing. So when it comes to chores, if some household work is done without pay, you would be amazed at how resourceful children become when it comes to earning some extra pocket cash. Let them do some work for free Warrior parents! It builds character and a drive that so many now a days are missing.

Who knew that raising strong warriors and great citizens also meant 

your house is a little cleaner?! Talk about a win! 

Don't forget parenting warriors: We believe in you.

Now go set some goals and crush it!!!

Raising Good Citizens

#RaiseAWarrior

Disciplining Your Child: A Labor of Love

     Are you familiar with word association exercises? For example if I said “ocean” the words “blue,” “big,” or “wet” might come to mind. But if I said “discipline” what do you think of first? Is it a positive association? What would your child associate discipline with? For the majority of us discipline has become negatively ingrained in our society. It has culturally become synonymous with punishment. It might be surprising when you consider history’s gruesome examples of punishment, but it wasn’t always this way. Discipline originates from Latin and actually its root word ‘disciplina’ means teaching. For some reason this meaning has been lost over time. And now discipline is viewed in a negative light rather than the positive role of teaching that it is truly meant to be. There could be many reasons for this switch; however our primary concern, as parents, is how it affects us while we are trying to raise a warrior. 

     Last week we talked about what happens when you become your child’s best friend. The truth is these parents truly are trying to love their children how they see as best, but they are also choosing to ignore a key aspect of the parent-child relationship: discipline. Because we love our children we should discipline them. Every opportunity for correction is also an opportunity for us to teach and for them to learn. We don’t want our children to obey because they fear consequences. If they only follow the rules because they don’t want to be in trouble we have truly let them down as a parent.

     Rules shouldn’t be followed blindly. We follow rules because we see them as align with our personal moral compass and because we see how our actions will affect us and others if we do not follow them. That is what truly makes a warrior, someone who can see beyond the rules to the how and the why of what makes it right for us and others. That strength of moral and conviction will spur our child to act when things are unjust and to stand up for themselves and what they believe in. As a parent what more could we ask for?

     So how do we make this shift towards a discipline that focuses more on teaching morality and obedience without losing our sanity? The article below has a great introduction on setting and maintaining those initial boundaries of right and wrong. When it comes to discipline that is centered around teaching your child to be strong of character we would also like to encourage you to focus on these 4 easy C’s of discipline. These 4 steps will keep your discipline method consistent and help you and your child reach understanding and closure after each episode. The 4 C’s of discipline are:

Communicate, Coach, Consequence and Connection

     One alone is not enough, but in conjunction we have found these little C’s pack a big punch when it comes to helping your Little Warriors truly understand why something is wrong with the added bonus of strengthening bonds in the midst of error. It definitely works better than telling them to stop a million and one times.

Here’s how to use them effectively in your home…

COMMUNICATE:

     Children don’t simply “know” how to behave or what to do in new situations. I mean think back; every new experience (even as adults) is coupled with learning or training phase where someone guides you into this new role. Looking at childhood this way we can see it’s important to not just punish a child for something they haven’t yet learned. We can communicate that their actions or choices were incorrect, but we can’t truly fault them for something not experienced. Children look up to us, to guide and train them through each new phase in life. Keeping this in mind, it’s easy to recognize that if we clearly express our expectations for behavior BEFORE we enter new situations or environments it will definitely avoid frustration from all in the future. Communicate, communicate, and communicate. It’s truly worth the extra step warrior parents!

COACH:

     Parents are like the ultimate life coach. You literally do this for 18+ years as you try to encourage, teach, and guide your warrior towards becoming independent members of society. A coach is great at explaining not only how to do something, but why it’s important we do this and what the benefits are. We have a wealth of experience in comparison to our children, so coach them through examples when needed. Ultimately they will start coming to these conclusions on their own, for now we just need to nudge them in the right direction. It does take time to start this process, but once you and your child get into this habit you can kiss spontaneous and empty “I’m sorry(s)” or “It was an accident” goodbye.

CONSEQUENCE:

     Be it positive or negative there is always something that follows after we act. It’s a simple fact of life. Your child learns this by constant repetition. And sadly that requires 24/7 follow through on our part. It’s so easy to let something slide when you’re tired, or busy, or stress. I get it Warrior parents. However, that lack of consistent consequence is confusing to the learning child and can lead to more behavioral setbacks than you could imagine. It also is a slippery slope that leads to unnecessary struggles during the already tumultuous and hormonal teenage years. If you take anything from this, consistency in consequence is key! Always! You'll thank us later for that, we promise. 

CONNECT:

     Even though you get disappointed in your child your love never wavers. It’s important that an opportunity for apologies and forgiveness is included in any disciplinary or counseling session so that your child feels a restored connection with you. Young children especially are overwhelmed by the emotions involved with these confrontations and giving them this chance to reconcile with you can truly reset the day and keep a bad moment from becoming a bad day or week.

     We hope this helps you change the way you look at discipline within your home and that these 4 C’s help you and your Little Warrior grow and mature together. Because after all, these moments of conflict 

are little tests of flight meant to get you both prepared for what’s to come.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries for Kids

#RaiseAWarrior

Loved the 4 C's of discipline and looking for more ways to focus on CONNECTING with your child?

Join us on the mat each month for Family Participation Days. 

(Upcoming family participation days are February4th & 5th) 

#FamilyTimeIsTheBestTime

Parent or BFFs?

     Has your child ever asked you if you were their friend? How did you respond? Do you want your child to see you as a friend? Think back on your own parents… did they readily accept that role during your youth? Or is that something that developed and matured, as you did, once in adulthood? Looking around our personal lives we can see examples of both and the results that stem from that. So which way do you think it should be, parent only or BFFs for life while your child is growing up? Working with children every day we’ve seen a pretty heavy mix of both styles and since our children are too precious to just blindly forage ahead with no pre-thought we wanted to share some musings on the subject today. 

      Many people view being their child’s best friend as a guarantee that you will always be their number one confidant and your child will now come to them, when in need, no matter the topic. They think that being a “cool parent” who sets few rules, isn’t overprotective, and stays up to date with all the hip new trends and electronics buys them this confidence. Looking at this list of what it takes to be a “cool parent” I don’t think I have it in me. It seems like it comes at much too high a cost for far too little guarantee. Cool parents may be held in high esteem with the youth, but who’s truly running that house? Parenting isn’t a contest our children get to judge us on. Parenting is an irreplaceable and priceless role that cannot be abandoned without grave costs. When you loosen up on your responsibilities of setting the rules and enforcing standards you truly are setting yourself up for a harder time during the teenage years. A child used to such a relaxed parenting style won’t suddenly want to give that freedom up just because you, as a parent, suddenly decide it’s gone too far or gotten too dangerous.

      A few decades ago, whether a parent should be a friend to their child or not was unheard of. But parenting has changes a lot since the time when children were seen and not heard. Now the average parent is so focused on their child and their activities that they don’t have a spare moment to themselves. Our whole culture has shifted towards this child first initiative and now parents are caught straddling the gray line between parent and friend as they try to meet this newest trend of attachment parenting. This new parenting style is seeking good things, but the bottom line is that this new focus on utmost parental responsiveness to the child’s every need and emotion does not ensure your child will never feel insecure or anxious. And it is not the sole factor that ensures better ‘attachment.’

      Friends are considered equals. They equally get to decide on anything and everything. No one has more power than the other and no one sets the rules. But we are parents. A child is never our equal during childhood, because that’s a time for learning. Parents have to be able to discipline their child and set the limits. We do this for their safety, and so they can learn and grow. And it is OK if your child doesn’t like you for making those tough decisions. There will be times when they won’t. However, we know our job as parents is to prepare our children for life on their own; it isn’t a popularity contest. We have to teach those hard lessons and those life skills so that when they go out on their own we are confident in their ability to make smart and safe choices, to be the kind of leader who stands up for what’s right even when it is hard. We have to teach them to brush their teeth, not stay up all night, and get their responsibilities done. “Friends” don’t have that role, active parents do.

      So what do you think? Can you be best friends and parent your child simultaneously? Is it worth it? Don’t forget, your child will have many friends over their life. But they only have one you and we only get to do this once so when it comes to raising your warrior make it count! 

Be Your Child's Parent, Not Their BFF

#RaiseAWarrior

Courtesy, More than Mere Politeness

     Today’s generation places a huge emphasis on confidence, independence, and a strong sense of self-esteem. These characteristics are ones we value as a society because we see them as essentially useful for succeed in this highly competitive age. As parents, we want our children to know themselves so they can speak their mind, stand up for what they believe in, and reach their dreams. But all this emphasis of valuing self has come with an unexpected cost, the cost of devaluing others.

     We see evidence of this all around in our day to day lives. We see this lack of courtesy in children who don’t acknowledge when someone enters the room, teens or young adults who still haven’t mastered the art of not interrupting or turning off their devices to actually have a real conversation, and children who can’t resolve the simplest of disputes because they’re so wrapped up in THEIR thoughts, THEIR feelings, and THEIR emotions. 

     So how do we start this process of teaching our Little Warrior’s courtesy? First we have to take a look at what courtesy truly is and should be. The core of courtesy is much deeper than mere politeness. It stems from the knowledge that other’s have just as much worth and a right to dignity as you. It is an inherent belief that intentionally harming others or their property is inherently wrong. Courtesy is the lens of compassion and respect that we view others through and it helps us channel even our strongest emotions when interacting with others. And sadly, courtesy appears to be rapidly going out of style. 

     The good news it is never too late to start focusing on these Warrior virtues in your home and with your child. We don’t have finishing schools anymore, but you’ve got us and both on the mat and off it. The following article has some common courtesies, which are no longer common, to begin instilling in your home. Uncommon common courtesies include how to write a thank you note, how to change a conversation politely and with consideration of others, having empathy for people’s feelings, how to be a good house guest or play date, how to hold a good dinner conversation, etc.

     The truth is courtesy impacts too many aspects of our lives for us to overlook this life changing lesson when it comes to the business of raising our children. The rest of the world has plenty of influence on our growing child as is. And they definitely don’t have our child’s best interest at hearts. So take that extra time to redirect the moral compass of your home and don’t just settle for politeness. We know that if you make this the monthly focus of your home you will begin to notice a positive change in the ambiance of your home and the dividends these lessons will play in your child’s future truly are priceless.

Enjoy leveling up your home life, Black Belt parents!

Teaching Children More than Good Etiquette and Manners

#RaiseAWarrior

Instructor Spotlight: Mr. Stephen

Mr. Stephen is AWESOME! 

He's been teaching our Little Warriors for over four years! 

He is also one of our youngest adult Full Instructor's (aka adult Black belt in not one, but four martial art styles). 

The kiddos love Mr. Stephen because: 

He isn't afraid to be a goofball to make their day brighter

He is high energy literally ALL the time

He loves to do jumping techniques and combat rolls

He is like their number one fan and takes time to cheer everyone on

A few of Mr. Stephen's favorite things:

Mr. Stephen clearly loves training, but he also likes to have fun. His free time usually includes "eating all the food with friends," spending time with his girlfriend or playing with his dog, and watching movies. Mr. Stephen can usually be found quoting Disney movies, humming whatever song is in his head, or flexing his muscles. He really wants to go skydiving and if he could have any super power in the world he would wish for super speed so he could "do all the things."

A little bit more about Mr. Stephen:

Mr. Stephen (aka Hollywood or Stewie according to fellow employees) grew up in the DFW area, but his love for Warrior's Way has kept him local here with us and we are so grateful for that. He currently is working hard to get into the Wichita Falls Police Academy this year and we should find out the good news soon. We truly can't wait to see what is in store for him. All of our Warrior's go onto be leaders in all sorts of fields and we truly are so proud of the example they set no matter where life takes them. 

Mr. Stephen you truly are a hero in our eyes!

Fun fact: Mr. Stephen used to take Tae Kwon Do when he was little pre-moving to Wichita Falls and these pics are adorable!!!

#RaiseAWarrior and see how far they go!

How to Not Raise a Quitter

     Winter Break is officially over and we are back and ready to kick 2019’s butt! If you’re anything like us you are still adjusting back into the busy bustle of your hectic daily schedule after a brief reprieve. This adjustment is hard on the kiddos too. They’ve been out of school, out of martial arts class and obligation free for over a week now. Fortnight, Minecraft, or their newly gifted phone or tablet has been their primary devotion with this excess free time, but now that time has drawn to a close. School will be starting again and martial arts class and other obligations are calling.

     Some kids readily jump back into these routines, excited to see friends and favorite teachers again. But for other’s the idea of giving up their free time, turning off their games and getting off the couch to return to the real world is just too much. Your normally happy Little Warrior suddenly becomes an angry tyrant full of objections and excuses. Now getting their once treasured belt on and getting to the car in a timely manner has become a chore-like battle. We’ve heard the stories and we’ve had you nudge your usually happy little one onto the mat and shut the door hoping our instructors can reason with them and remind them of all the reasons they love martial arts class. No worries, it happens to the best of us. Regardless of when this sudden attitude change occurs, there will always come a point when a child suddenly digs their heels in and begins that descent towards quitting. Sometimes it’s a gradual change. At first it’s an occasional “I’m too tired to go to class today” or “Can we please skip, just this once?” But sometimes a long break in routine can trigger the dreaded words “I want to quit.”So what do we do? Do we give in because we are already stretched thin as is or do we take this moment and turn it into a life lesson?

     The truth is our children need to be pushed. Children will not brush their teeth, eat regular meals, or go to school unless adults make them. We, as parents, have to push and shape our Little Warriors until one day they realize the wisdom (and necessity) of follow through and not quitting. Only then are they able to venture out into the world on their own, fully equipped for the challenges of adulthood that lie ahead. You don’t get a diamond without a little pressure and the same goes with children. The only way for them to achieve their full potential is for us to show them that this lofty goal is what they should be pushing and striving towards.  

      Now there are plenty of valid reasons to quit an activity or sport. Your child might be stretched too thin and feel like they can’t meet any goals in any activity because there are simply too many to achieve at once. Maybe the activity is more your passion than theirs? Perhaps the team or coach is not a good fit for your child’s individual needs or learning style. Maybe they’re unable to keep up at this level and are now feeling left out or bullied. It happens. But every desire to give up or quit has to be carefully examined and reviewed with the child in context or else quitting when things get hard can quickly become a bad habit that turns into a lifelong problem.

      But being anxious about returning to class after a break or a little nervous that they’re out of practice is never a valid reason to quit an activity. Not when sticking with it offers so much room for growth and character building. Managing distress is a skill set that is severely lacking in our newest generation of adults. If this seems to be the reason your child wants to quit encourage them to face those doubts and provide them with the needed extra support as they do so. Every stressful situation conquered bolsters the strength and resiliency your child will have in the future. Strength, resiliency- those sound like Warrior worthy characteristics to us. Remember every diamond is just a lump of coal without the pressure it needs to form. Your little ones greatest potential is the same way.

     Whatever the reason and whenever the season of life, we hope these musings and the linked list of 10 things to consider first helps you decide whether quitting martial arts, a sports team, or musical lessons is right for you and your family. Over all we are excited to see everyone back on the mat and all of the potential we can unlock together as we crush our goals in 2019. Even if it’s a little rocky getting back into the swing of things we’re excited to be back at it and grateful for the challenges ahead. Because we know it is those challenging experiences that build the strongest character and we want to help you make your Little Warrior the strongest ‘diamond’ around.

10 Things to Consider Before Letting Your Child Quit

#RaiseAWarrior