Looking Beyond Ourselves When Things Are Hard

 Raising children who are compassionate is no small feat in today's world. Especially with mainstream media pushing images of the selfish and sometimes indifferent lifestyles of pop culture stars. Filling YOUR wants, YOUR needs, and achieving YOUR dreams has become our youth's priority. And while those aren't inherently bad goals it does promote a certain egocentrism that we don't want taking root in our family and homes.

     Right now especially it would be very easy for us to focus on ourselves. The problems shelter in place has created for us. What we've lost during the quarantine. All the things we miss. Focus on our boredom or how unhappy this temporary situation makes us. We could even justify that this is a normal response to what we're going through. Normal or average isn't necessarily the standard we are aiming for. Yes, we've been blessed. Yes, we are used to a certain lifestyle and want it back ASAP. But to spend this time focusing on that, would be a waste of one of life's most precious gifts. Our time. If we remain unable to see outside of ourselves and our problems then this season will be very difficult. But if we can see what we truly have, in this moment, by recognizing all others do not have- it will allow us to realistically be more content, happy, and productive during this season. So here's a family centered action plan to start looking beyond yourself.

COURTESY AND RESPECT, AT ALL TIMES

     Children hear our words, but they truly follow our lead. Which means if we expect them to show compassion in how they treat others, then we have to do the same. At all times. So if you've been frustrated instead of lashing out, speak respectfully. Teach them to consider how their actions make another feel. Walk them through the process of why you said "They hurt your feelings" instead of immediately sending them to their room. All of our relationships can benefit from an extra dose of compassion so take the time to use daily occurrences as the springboard for these teaching moments.

PRACTICE VIEWING THINGS FROM ANOTHER POINT OF VIEW

     Everyone has bad days. If someone is rude at the grocery store or while driving your children notice that and your response. Acknowledge that we shouldn't behave that way, but also try to put some perspective on it. Teach them to try to have some understanding for the wealth of things occurring in another's live that they don't see. Say "Wow, they really must have had a bad day to talk to others so rudely." Then apply this same practice within our home as well. If a sibling or someone in the family is having a hard time help your child take a moment and try to see things from their side of it. Being able to see things from another's point of view and be aware of how other's are feeling really sets the stage for some great patience, kindness, and compassion.

FIND WAYS TO HELP, NO MATTER HOW SMALL

     Although things are complicated right now with the pandemic if it is safe and you are able to help another do so. Sew masks as a family. Send letters to the brave essential personnel working hard to keep our city going. Regularly call extended family and try to send smiles to those stuck in Nursing home's and the hospital without visitors. Check in with friends. Show them that these little things can make a huge impact. Get the whole family involved in the Warrior compassion and gratitude challenges that our online training program is doing. Let's teach our children that anytime is the right time to engage in acts of service and show compassion for others.

     Looking beyond ourselves is a skill set that takes time to develop. It is going to take some truly conscious and concentrated effort to become a habit. But if you take the time to instill compassion and empathy in your family now, it is one of those umbrella character traits that blossoms into greater patience, understanding and kindness. And even if it is just you and your child spreading that love out into the world in a million seemingly little ways, that compassion has power. And it tends to spread. So let's see if we can spread compassion more quickly than the corona we are currently trying to flatten. We've got this!

#RaiseAWarrior