Lie's Parents Believe Part 2

     Raising a Warrior means perpetually striving to give our children the very best we can. This is our mission as parents, but we cannot give another our best without being at our very best. Last month we touched on some lies we can easily get caught up in as parents. This week we want to continue with that thread. So take a moment and self reflect on whether these lies resonant with you. As we debunk these insecurities and lies that are holding us stationary we can begin growing past the confines of them and continue to give our family our very best.

I can't be happy if things aren't perfect.

     Most of us probably don't identify as over the top perfectionists. But the truth is perfectionism comes in many insidious forms. Ever felt frustrated because your house never seems to be clean? Struggling with keeping everyone placated and happy? Your child's behavior issues got you down? The truth is all of these are a form of parenting perfectionism and they have a nasty habit of stealing our joy from right now. The truth is perfection is an illusion that Hollywood and social media would have us believe is within our power to obtain, but it just isn't. So instead of never having company over because your house isn't just the way you want it, have them over. Make some memories. Don't let a slightly messy house keep you from having that joy. Accept that you can't keep everyone happy, all the time. You just aren't a taco. I'm sorry Warrior parents. So focus on making the difference in even just one person's day and celebrate that victory. Everything doesn't have to be perfect for you to be happy. And if you take steps to start practicing this new mindset you'll realize just how much your hidden parenting perfectionism was stealing away from you and your family's joy.

I have to do it all alone.

     Our situation isn't always known to others. Maybe you don't have an awesome family support system, maybe your best friend just moved, but you are never alone. Even if all you have is us, that is a powerful force of good in yours and your child's life. Don't fall for this lie that causes us to shut down and close ourselves off from people who genuinely care. When we feel alone, it changes our behavior and starts to become a self fulfilling prophecy. So when you feel you have to do it all and will never be able to manage another second call a friend, reconnect with your family, sit down with us. Even just having an understanding and open conversation can stop this mindset of loneliness in its track. So let this lie go. There are people who genuinely care and are invested in both you and your family. You need only ask.

I can control my child's future.

     This is a tough one Warrior parents, especially as your child gets older. The truth is we cannot stop our child from making mistakes or hurting themselves. We can't keep them from jail, from dating someone who isn't good for them, from having bad friends, dropping an extracurricular they really excelled at, or blowing off school and losing scholarships. All we can truly do is guide them and support them through thick and thin. We can make an impact, but we do not have any long lasting or actual control over their future. So take it a day at a time. Recognize it is their life and ultimately they get to choose who they want to be. And in the mean time use every second of time you have to influence and point them towards good. Our children truly listen to us and take everything we say as truth for a very finite time. Use that to your advantage! And if you've already entered the year where discord is rearing it's ugly head don't despair. Communicate your openness, non judgement, and willingness to help and support no matter the situation. Let them see you as a safe harbor always. We all rebelled some as teens, but we also usually came back and recognized are parents were more right than we wanted to give them credit for. If you're struggling with this today try making a list of all the things you can do today and places where you can make an impact. Then take a deep breathe and recognize what you have no control over the rest. Let that truth set you free from the worry of tomorrow and let it make you grateful for the impact you can actually make today.

     These posts are a little different from our usual, but taking care of yourself is so vital to successfully raising a warrior and helping your family grow. If you're in a parenting rut (whether it's one we've touched on or not) know you can always get out of it. No situation is hopeless Warrior parents and nothing lasts forever. So chin up and keep being amazing! Your whole family is counting on you.

#RaiseAWarrior