3 Lies Parents Believe

     This month our instructors and adult students have been participating in an Alpha Goals challenge. Every year we take a month and strive to build a habit together that will make us stronger and better. Each year's challenge is vastly different. But no matter the habit we are trying to build or break, we do these challenges together because we believe we can't give our best if we aren't consistently striving to be our best self. And we love our families so much that we know they deserve the very best we have to offer them.

     This month's challenge has been about gratitude. A shift in our mindset towards being more positive and thankful in our relationships and our daily life. In doing this challenge we've noticed that our mindset truly sets the tone to the script of our lives. We each live the life we believe we deserve. Sometimes we feel powerless to change and without hope. This is a lie we trick ourselves into believing. Change may be difficult, but it is always possible. Parents (no matter the age or experience) are also vulnerable to these kinds of lies, and negative mindsets. They can prevent you from growing and giving your family your very best. So this week's article is for you guys, our amazing Warrior parents. It's time to acknowledge and dispel the lies we sometimes believe about ourselves and our families.

It's too late.

     We all have things that haunt, nag, and guilt's us both personally and as a parent. Maybe you yell too much. Maybe you recognize you're weight is affecting your health and have come to realize this is the thing that could ultimate steal time away from you and your loved ones. Maybe you feel you work too much. Maybe you regret constantly missing certain family events. Maybe you regret not writing the story of your family down or documenting life together better. No matter the fault you find and the rut you have yourself in, when we have a negative mindset we tend to feel like things have always been this way and will forever be this way. The truth is all it takes to change your life is a single, tiny, uncertain step in the right direction. You don't have to have it all figured out. And you definitely don't have to feel like you know what you're doing. Just take that first step and then another. Set an intention and follow through no matter the setbacks. One by one these little course corrections are putting us on track to the person we want to be.

Good parents don't have to (BLANK).

     This blank could be anything. Go to counseling, take medications for anxiety or depression, seek help with addiction, go through a divorce, etc. While trying to be the ultimate parent for our little ones we tend to forget that we're people too. We cannot give our best if we aren't also taking care of ourselves. While our culture is slightly more accepting of many things there are still stigma's associated with these common struggles. We have to come to terms not only with the stigma's we personally hold, but also the stigma's and expectations we believe our loved ones have. You are not a failure for needing or seeking help while trying to be the best you can be. You are a work in progress also. To take care of yourself is to ultimately take care of your family. Sometimes we struggle with unexpected things like divorce & depression. It doesn't make you a bad person and it definitely doesn't make you a bad parent, so stop that lie, right here and right now!

If I don't provide (BLANK) I'm a bad parent.

     We don't love to tell our children no. If we could give them everything that Sarah's parents next door are able to and then some, we would no questions asked. But the truth is material things do not a good parent make. Your child doesn't actually need a cell phone, the latest gaming system, a giant birthday party with a bounce house, concert tickets, grand vacations, a new car, or any of that business. They may love those things and gush with "I love you's" when presented with these, but they aren't the things that truly matter. Your time, your investment, your openness, your emotions, your love, your affection, your efforts to make this period memorable, that is what a child truly needs. That is what we must provide to be a good parent. It isn't the gifts we buy that matter, but how we make every second together count. We've spoken before how comparison is a thief of joy. So when trying to gauge yourself as a parent, don't look at the lavish gifts and treats you can't provide. Instead take note of every time the two of you laugh out loud, explore something new, start a tradition, or share a secret. Those moment's are the ones that last. That is where you make an impact. Fashion, toys, and fads will come and go, but a parent's love and genuinely focused time... that's a priceless gift your child will never forget.

     So take some time to examine your heart and mind. Are you lying too or beating yourself down on the daily? It's okay to give yourself some grace Warrior parents. We're all human and we all want what's best for our families. So chin up. Take that tiny, first, uncertain step towards being a better version of yourself. The investment may be hard at first, but it will be good for all of you.

#RaiseAWarrior