Say No To More Whining!

                I don’t know about you, but it seems there is less for us to do during the winter and the whining seems to increase. Maybe it’s because we spent too much money over the holidays and don’t have the extra funds, maybe we’re all just tired of the Texas weather that is beautiful one day and frigid the next. No matter the reason here are a few truths about whining and how to make it stop.

Truth #1) Whining is a learned behavior that occurs because it works

                We are creatures of habit no matter our age. And the tools we use the most are the ones and that we have learned and know will work most of the time. Your kiddo isn’t whining to annoy you, they’re whining because you’ve taught them it is a successful method of getting what they want. So the first step to ending whining in your household is to not let it work! Stop giving in. Let them know you won’t respond to whining and then follow through. These steps may seem small and practically insignificant but if you can manage it you’ll cut back dramatically on this annoying behavior.

Truth #2) Whining is a lack of a more positive means of getting our attention or their needs met

                Our kids want us to see them. They want to be the center of our world and sometimes they don’t care whether your focus is positive or negative they’re all about it. This is tricky because whining seems to trigger just that – our attention. To truly stomp out whining, like any bad behavior, we must replace it with a better way. And this doesn’t occur in the moment. You must set the stage for expected behavior beforehand. Let them know you will not respond to whining (after all we don’t negotiate with terrorists even tiny, adorable ones that make your heart glow 88% of the time). Let them know they are old enough that you expect good communication and model this behavior yourself. Let them know that sometimes they will be disappointed by the outcome of their requests and give them tools to manage those emotions.

Truth #3) Whining occurs most when children are feeling ignored or unacknowledged

                Most whining can be nipped in the bud with the right kind of attention. We as parents never mean for our children to feel ignored, but there are so many pulls on our attentions and our time it is easy to let some things slip. Taking time to positively connect with your child in a meaningful way can lessen whining exponentially. If whining is a big problem in your home looking at how much quality time you spend with other members of your home might be eye opening.

Truth #4) Whining won’t end overnight

                This is a negative and almost symbiotic habitual relationship pattern between you both. It will take practice for you to ignore your child’s whining and not respond in a way that fulfills their attention seeking. It will take practice and reminders from you for your child to begin expressing what they want or need in a more positive way. And it takes lots of opportunities to practice for our children to come to terms with life’s disappointments (big or small) and learn to manage their emotions and expectations in a healthy way.

                Whining doesn’t have to be a regular part of parenting. We have the power to show our children a better way! You’ve got this Warrior parents! We’re here to help you with this and other parenting hurdles. Just let us know. And don't worry Texas won't keep us in wild weather forever 

#RaiseAWarrior