Our
goal is to help make parenting easier. Note the word choice there; easier and
not easy. Parenting is, and always will be a difficult task. This is because no
one parenting style or method fit’s every family’s individual needs. This
happens because every family is different, and each member of the family is a
unique individual who responds to the world differently. We all naturally are
born with character traits or a temperament of sorts. This isn’t new knowledge.
However, when we view this from a parenting lens we see that perhaps there is
room to grow. Perhaps we should take into consideration the different
temperaments in our home. Does one child need something that the other doesn’t?
Is it within our power to meet those individual temperaments as well as their
unique strengths and weaknesses? Should we meet them? Read on below to start
deciding for yourself-
Reactive Temperaments
Reactivity revolves around how our
child responds to things in the world around them. These children have big
emotions and they need help learning to work through them.
The reactive child can be a lot of fun and
energetic so long as thing are going well. They are loud, physically active,
and keep you on your toes. But when things start to go wrong all that
reactivity tends to show in some negative ways. If your child is a spit-fire
they need help expressing their emotions appropriately (especially when it
comes to anger or frustration), as well as finding positive routes to get out
all of that energy. This child will need help establishing some routines to
help them wind down or transition from moment to moment.
The less reactive child however is a total
sweetheart. They are gentle natured, kind, easy to get along with and everyone
loves them. Their weakness is they aren’t always assertive, can be extremely
sensitive, and need help learning how to stand up for themselves. These kids
tend to have a lower or laid-back energy level and might need some
encouragement to help build healthy habits when it comes to movement and
physical activity.
Regulated
Temperaments
How we control our behavior and
show our feelings is something that we naturally also have a predilection too.
No matter the temperament, however, we can always help our child cope with
their natural strengths and weaknesses as well as improve upon them.
The self-regulated child kind of has things
together. They are not overly impulsive; they can manage their emotions longer
in all kinds of emotions and are capable of working through those emotions
positively in a quicker manner. These kids are naturally great at coping with
setbacks and knocking out goals. This child can become a bit of a perfectionist,
however, so it’s important to let them know mistakes are okay and used as a
learning point.
The un-regulated child is quite the opposite.
Their attention, focus, and emotions are all over the place, sometimes in a
positive manner and sometimes not. This child can easily switch from one
activity to the next, but will need to be equipped with resources to help them
focus and follow through so they can learn how to achieve those longer, and
more difficult tasks.
Sociable Temperaments
This concept is more familiar to most
of us. We all know introverts and we all know extroverts. How we respond to
others is something that is innately a part of our character. Both have
strengths, but also weaknesses and parents can help their child by uniquely
meeting their needs and helping them grow through and adapt to their initial
nature.
The Social Child – These kids can feel easy
sometimes. Take them anywhere and they will talk up a storm and make at least 3
new friends. They handle things on the fly with a smile and a mostly good
attitude. The downside is these children often struggle to occupy themselves
and demand a lot of attention. These kids crave that one on one time with you,
but also need to learn to be happy spending time with themselves.
The Introvert – This kid is awesome at playing
by themselves quietly. It feels like a blessing in the early stages as it opens
up more time for yourself. It can become a hardship, however, if your child
doesn’t learn how to make friends or be comfortable in groups. This child
struggles with being adaptable and craves a routine. Routines are great
learning tools, but your child will find life hard without some coping
strategies to help them be more adaptable.
Looking at this list your probably see your child in one of each of these categories. Take a moment to compare their natural state to your own. When you sync up it is easier to understand their needs, concerns, fears, etc. which in fact makes it easier to parent. It is when you guys don’t have similar temperaments that it can be harder to parent and meet your child’s needs. Not just the needs of their temperament, but also their growth needs so that their temperament does not hold them back. It will be a learning curve for everyone involved (especially if your temperaments don’t sync up), but we know it can make your parenting and home life better. You’ve got this Warriors!
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