Raising Happier Children: A Warrior Parent's Guide Part Two

     Helping your child find happiness within is so pivotal to their continued well-being. Far too many people waste their precious time seeking happiness and joy outside of themselves. They seek it in their jobs, in riches, in the cars they drive, the trips they take, and the number of likes they get while "living their best life." And while you can find external things that bring you joy, it is mostly fleeting and always comes at a cost. Success in the work place for example can bring joy, but at what cost to your family and so on. So this week is part two of our warrior parent's guide to raising happier children. Let's keep on pushing!

Build Your Relationships

     Relationships have a lot of power over our happiness. And while we want to be happy just in ourselves, having the skills and emotional intelligence to build healthy relationships can go a long ways towards increasing our present and future happiness. So teach your child to build their relationships. Teach them that relationships are like a bank. You have to invest time and energy into them to be able to make a withdrawal later on. Teach them to be thoughtful- to do kind things just because. Teach them to be empathetic and consider how another might feel. Teach them to be aware of the effect they have on others. Teach them to treat others how they want to be treated. Teach them to be able to verbalize what they're feeling and what they want. Teach them about boundaries. Model the kind of wholesome relationships they should seek out. And in doing so you are setting them up for success in the relationships they will later choose to pursue.

Teach Them To Invest Their Time

     Our time is our most precious resource we have to give because it is so finite. So teach your child to invest their time wisely. Yes Netflix, YouTube, and video games can be a lot of fun. But do we really want them investing weeks of their time into them? Teach your kiddo to invest their time in themselves. Teach them to absorb and learn as much as they possibly can. Teach them to be resourceful. Teach them to pursue their hobbies, to continually strive to make themselves better. And who knows these passions might even become their future job or a lucrative side hustle.

Form Happiness Habits

     We all have things that we can do to make ourselves feel better. It's sort of like an emergency self care tool kit that is individualized to you. Help your child find theirs. Maybe after a stressful morning you just need a cup of coffee. Maybe reading before bed helps you relax. We all have rituals that we do when we're feeling low and it's important that our children know this isn't selfish, it's essential. So show them your happiness habits or pick me ups and help them find their own. Whether it's journaling, expressing yourself artistically, dancing it out, deep cleaning, our children need some tried and true methods to help them cope when life is hard. And by teaching them that self care is an important part of our well-being they might just be a little more understanding when you need some time for yourself also.

The Power of Optimism

     We've all met pessimistic people and we can definitely say that we would rather face the teenage years with a child who is not a pessimist. The way we view scenarios, situations, and challenges can greatly impact our happiness levels. So teach your child to view that glass as half full. Have them view the world around them positively. It will make today, tomorrow, and everything in between that much brighter.

     So that's that! Two weeks worth of mini happiness projects for you and your family to work on. We hope that as you spend some time building these habits into your life that you will notice more happiness and less contention in your home. And who doesn't need a little boost of happiness in their lives? Happy parenting! 

#RaiseAWarrior 

Oh The Places You Can Go

     Childhood today looks WAAAAAAAYYYYYY different from when we were growing up. And that isn't necessarily a bad thing. I mean looking back on some of the things we did growing up with zero supervision... well let's just say it makes me proud to be standing here with all of my appendages intact and working. But as a whole we have shifted towards viewing going outside as a means to get somewhere, rather than viewing the outdoors as a destination in and of itself. Which is a shame since we believe our children should grow up with a healthy curiosity and respect for the world around them.

     Maybe that's why we're a little grateful for the topsy turvy trials of this year. I mean one huge good thing to come of all the coronavirus/work from home/shelter in place life was an increase in family time. And we loved hearing all about it in our weekly zoom chats and in class. We love that so many of you took advantage of this time to go outside. We loved hearing of all the biking, walking, hiking, and swimming you guys were enjoying together. It inspired us to do this in our own homes more. But as our world continues to open up, and schedules get back to normal and we find ourselves increasingly busier we feel strongly that it's important to keep that family centered focus going. So whether you're an avid nature enthusiast or you just want happy, healthier children here are some great benefits of venturing beyond and some ideas to get your family outdoors more this summer.

Because not everything needs to be fast

     If you're like us. You relished the change of pace that coronavirus brought. It really helped you reorient and prioritize what matters the most. And as we get back to a semblance of our new normal we are realizing we don't have to be spread so thin. Life doesn't have to be a continuous string of one activity or task to the next. It is okay to slow down. It can be wonderful actually. And slowing down in nature, whether its lazing about in a hammock, watching the clouds glide bye or waiting for the fish to bite can be just the change of pace and reset we need to recharge and refill after a long week.

Because not everything needs to be planned

     2020 has been a testament to this fact. Life happens whether it's planned or not. And even the greatest plans have to be rescheduled due to unforeseen circumstance. It's just a fact of life. We know how little we truly have control over. So breathe. Don't stress so much. You don't have to fill every spare second of your weekend with activities, company and outings. Some of life's greatest moments happen by accident. So if you're tired of being home get out and go. See where the road takes you. Take a drive together, go on an impromptu hike, get lost together, be spontaneous, have a picnic, utilize local walking trails, do whatever brings you joy. Just get outside together and relish those lazy unplanned days of summer.

Because facing obstacles is a skill

     Anytime we put ourselves against nature we are facing something bigger than us. And as we push the boundaries of what we thought was possible, as we stretch outside our comfort zone we are learning to face our fears and overcome obstacles. And that is a skill essential to success later on. So push them to climb that tree. See who can climb the rock the highest. Pit yourself against nature by hiking the harder paths. The views are always worth it and we can take pride in doing something we thought we couldn't before.     

Because adventure is what childhood memories are made of

     Some of my fondest memories as a child involved being outside. Hiking, camping, swimming in natural water holes, slipping across algae covered rocks, catching tadpoles or hunting for crawdads, fighting over the hammocks, building rock monuments, playing in mud, finding the best walking stick, climbing the biggest rock. These adventures held magic in them. And although we were tired and often whined about the journey it was always worth it. Those trips are the ones I remember. How we went camping for a week and it rained every day. How we saw a baby bear cub, and tried to smash rocks to make arrowheads like the Native Americans of old. I don't remember Disneyland or Sea World or even much of Lego Land in Cali. But I do remember the wonder of standing beneath the great sequoias and many misadventures in the great outdoors.

Because it can spark a lifelong love

    Our many adventures growing up has sparked a lifelong love. I will always love to travel. I will always love to hike. And while camping in a tent is no longer my favorite there is nothing like a day spent exploring new places and ending the day around a fire. I owe that to my childhood. And one day I too want to take my family to as many National Parks as I can. I want them to do the Junior Ranger Programs, to explore, to collect the badges, and rocks and shells. I want them to build a home and a life but be brave enough to step out of it and explore. So let them collect those rocks or pinecones or whatever it may be. Those are memories of the magic of childhood. And by building a love for the outdoors now it can touch your family for many generations to come.

Because it makes us healthier

     It's no secret that today's busy, fast food filled, but also sedentary, electronics based lifestyle isn't doing our society any favors. Getting outside is an active endeavor. It isn't easy walking, hiking, biking, skating, or swimming. It isn't easy to camp or gather firewood. And it is definitely up and moving. So find a way to get your family outdoors. Create traditions. There are plenty of things to do in the local area and a short day trip away. Instilling these habits and this love now will payoff today and for years to come.

Because you don't even have to go very far

     We know that with all the continued uncertainty going on today you might not feel up for a grand adventure. Camping in your back yard, walking or biking the paths of our locale, having a picnic, trying all the playgrounds in our city are all minutes away. And they take minimal prep to make happen. If you're up for something more Turner Falls, The Wichita Mountains, lakes and more are a short trip away. The best thing of all is it's easy to social distance in the wide open spaces of the great outdoors. So no matter how big or small the adventure start getting your family outside more. We know you won't regret it. Happy parenting!

#RaiseAWarrior 

Raising Happier Children: A Warrior Parent's Guide Part One

     If you could only wish one thing for your child when they are grown what would it be? Would you wish them riches? Would you wish for success? Would you wish for the perfect relationship? Or would you simply wish them happiness? For most of us parents happiness is the goal. We know that extrinsic things like big paychecks, perfect relationships, nice jobs and exotic vacations can help our child live a happier life, but it doesn't necessarily guarantee it. Happiness, simply put, has to come from within. An attitude and outlook of happiness is a learned trait, it has to be a habit of mindfulness. Which is lucky for us because wishes don't exist and this is a trait within our power to gift to our child. So this week's blog is about raising children who aren't just happy, but are also capable of choosing happiness when things are hard.

Maintain Your Awe

     Remember the wonder of your child the first time they experienced something new? Remember their joy on that first amusement park ride? The joy of that first bite of cake? As our children get older they naturally lose a little bit of that sense. Things seem less magical and more mundane to them. It becomes their norm. And it's hard to see the magic and wonder in our everyday life. You have to choose daily to find that everyday magic. So maybe that's teaching your child to notice when a flower blooms. Maybe that's taking a moment to find shapes in the clouds. Maybe it's finding a penny and picking it up. Maybe you play in the rain or have a dance party at every stop light. The world around us is incredible, we just have to choose to see that. So teach your child to celebrate the normal and everyday, because that is where we spend a huge amount of our time. Being able to find your joy in the mundane, that is priceless.

Managing Your Expectations

     We parents realize what is in our realm of control and what isn't. Weekend plans can be ruined by weather. People get sick and are unable to follow through with events. Stuff happens. It's a hard fact of life. But even the most perfect adventure can be ruined if it doesn't line up with our internal picture of how the day will play out. Being able to acknowledge and manage our expectations helps us lead a happier life. So teach your child to do this. If you have a big event or trip coming up ask them what they're looking forward too. And if it boarders into the realm of fantasy help them reign those expectations back to earth. This will make events and adventures better for everyone involved because their won't be anyone with a bad attitude because their picture perfect day wasn't as perfect as they had hoped for. 

Cultivate Gratitude

     It's a well known fact that having an attitude of gratitude helps increases our overall health and happiness. In fact cultivating a gratitude habit strengthens all of these other practices we're listing. And there are so many quick and easy ways to do this. Maybe you keep a journal where you note the wonderful things in your life (I personally have a continually ongoing note on my phone where I can quickly input a date and what made me smile. It's a tangible reminder of all the good when things get hard). Maybe you take turns mentioning something you're thankful for at family meals. Maybe you make it a habit to show your gratitude to one person every single day. These are the kind of habits that stick with you through the years. And the more you do it, the greater the joy. So find a way to cultivate gratitude as a family and do it daily.

     Like many things in this life, happiness is a choice. It takes a little practice and a whole lot of thoughtfulness, but it is one of those life long traits that keeps on giving. So work on building these habits up as a family. Not only are you securing a happier future for your Little Warrior, you are also laying the foundation for a happier home life today. Because happiness can be just as contagious as a bad attitude to those who you are around the most. We believe in you!

#RaiseAWarrior