Today's world is very acquisition based. What do I get out of doing "X"? But what if in fact we don't need more? Sure, a nicer car, more pay, more savings would all be nice. But to get more we usually have to give more. And at this point most of us are spread pretty thin. So what if instead we choose less? What if we chose to be choosier with the things we took on so we could be more productive with our time and carve out more space for our family? Still undecided? Well let us put it this way...
Parenting is challenging. Each stage has it's own unique set of hurdles and so we constantly tell ourselves that this part of parenting may be tough, but it's going to get easier. And so we constantly look forward to the next goal post or level of independence our child will develop. We use this thought to motivate us during the hard times. But the parenting paradox is that all that we wish for will come true and then some. For our children are only young once. There will be a last time that they have an accident, throw a fit in public, and are unable to strap themselves into the car. It's a magnificent thing, but also terrifying. Because if one day those will end so too will the times when your child holds your hand, or falls asleep in your arms. One day you will wake up and they will want to hang out with their friends more than you. All along we push ourselves, saying this job will get easier and that one day our children won't need us as much. But too often, when it comes true, we realize that we needed that time with them as much as they need time with us. So instead of solely focusing on the freedoms the next developmental stage of parenting brings us, let's ask ourselves "If I continue with my current routine what will I regret the most?" Because our child spells love the same way we do: in quality time. So this week we offer some simple steps to make the most of your time together (no matter how brief).
Put The Phone Away
Our phone use has become habitual. It isn't even a conscious thing anymore to pull it out and absentmindedly scroll. It's soothing. But our children are very observant. Checking our phone during our quality time with them sends a message that this little device and the things on it are more important to us than they are. And that is definitely not the message we want to send our child. So prioritize your family over electronics and other devices. Have a no device rules on family outings. Invest in a real camera if you don't think you can help using your phone beyond a memory maker. Use car rides as a chance to connect and draw closer, rather then delve into our own little world. Every single one of our moments together can be precious if we make it so.
Talk To Them
Much of what we do is done on autopilot and this includes connecting with our family. Our conversations should have meaning and depth. We shouldn't settle for the superficial. We should be checking in on each other, learning about one another, and helping push each other towards our dreams. We can't do this by asking how their day was and settling for "It was fine." Get creative with your conversation starters. Ask what the funniest part of their day was? Ask what made them smile? Ask if they saw or did a random act of kindness? And model this kind of personal conversation in the other relationships you're a part of. Our children learn much about connection and openness by our interactions with our significant others so don't settle for simply superficial with them either.
Choose To Play
Play is such a magical part of childhood. And with the right nurturing it can mature into an adventurous and fun loving spirit that you can continue to share with your family later on. So why is it we pass up these moments of loving connection? At the park, during sporting events, at a play date the adults can be found sitting around glued to a screen or chatting with other parents. And while it's important to foster parent to parent relationships, it isn't of greater value than investing time with your family. So shake off the tiredness. Even if it's just for 10-20 minutes. Playing with your family may take some energy out of you, but it always puts a smile on your face and is a small price to pay for an experience of connection. So play with your family. Be silly with your family. Those flights of fantasy and creativity show a peek into their personality and might even creak open old parts of yours.
So there you have it- a quick little intro to the parenting paradox. Time is ticking away and it is okay to be selfish about it. Our children naturally gravitate more and more towards their peers as they grow so make the most of every second. Get your life together enough to start taking advantage of these moments. Stop wishing away this parenting journey. We may intermittently want an easier life, but easier isn't always better. There are adventures out there and memories to be made. So make every second count and they just might want to keep adventuring with you. You've got this Warrior parents!
#RaiseAWarrior
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