Keeping Bullies Out Of Your Child's Life

     We teach a child to get help when they are being bullied, hurt, or mistreated in any way. And that is what we've been teaching them for years. Authority is the answer. And it can be when society in't bogged down by excessive whistle blowing and a focus on being politically correct. So how do we prepare our child to handle being bullied? How can we prevent it in the first place? Is teaching our children to run to authority always the best answer? The school system and other organizations try to handle these and other issues to the best of their abilities, but it is easy to see how they are frequently overwhelmed.

     So what can we parents do to protect our children when they are outside the safety of our nest? Especially when we know that bullies are notorious for targeting kids that are isolated or have low self esteem. The answer is in our mission of raising a warrior. A warrior knows who they are and what they stand for. They know what is acceptable behavior and what will not be tolerated. They are willing to stand up for themselves and others. So where does this confidence come from? How do we teach our kids to recognize their inherent internal worth? Our sister school in Oklahoma has some great insight on the manner.

     Brandon Bennett is a long time friend and student of Tuhon Harley Elmore. He is the instructor who runs Relentless Martial Arts, up in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He recognizes that our youth receives little or no positive affirmation from our culture about who they are and makes it his mission to regularly ask his student to "tell me who you are." The premise of this question seems simple. The things you say about yourself must all be positive. You cannot describe how you look. And you must give as many examples as you are years old. So a ten year old student, must list 10 things that describe who they are and positively fit the criteria presented. It is simple task, but not an easy one. Mr. Bennett uses this tool to constantly reaffirm the youth in his academy by revisiting the ever growing definition of who they are and steering their thoughts in a more positive direction. Society would have us associate positive meaning to how we look, but it should be so much more than that. We want our children to find positive meaning in their character and skills instead.

     Last time Guro Brandon was in our school he posed this simple question to some of our instructors. It was an eye opening exercise. So take some alone time to do this exercise on your own. See how it impacts your day. And then while you sit down to family meals or check in with your child one on one before bedtime take a moment to see what their response is. Maybe make this a monthly thing where you all answer the question "Who am I?." You might just be surprised at how this sense of self can quickly change with a little bit of positive affirmation.

     So use this tool to help steer your child's sense of self worth. As their confidence grows the likelihood that they will be targeted by bullies will continue to decrease. Because after all the best anti-bullying plan is having the confidence and self worth to not be seen as a potential target in the first place.

     To read more of Guro Brandon's thoughts on affirming the self confidence of our youth and why it's so pivotal to their development check out the full article at...

http://www.relentlessmartialarts.com/Blog---A-Relentless-Life.html

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