Screen Time For Parents

                We live in a uniquely media saturated time. Everyone has a phone (or two), and we are always connected 24/7. This has led to a lot of good- like always having a camera or the ability to record a video and capture a memory forever at your fingertips; but it has also come with a price. Some of these costs we realize, like society normalizing the expectation that you be available at all times of the day, for work, for friends, and for your family. However, some of the costs aren’t as readily apparent. Since the reality is we won’t be dropping our phones anytime soon here are some things you should be conscious of while responding to the never-ending cycle of updates and messages that come throughout the day.

It impacts our parenting

                Every generation of parents has its own trials to overcome and this one is ours. We live in an era where continuous partial attention is the norm. Letting our phones interrupt us and pull our attention from what we are doing is practically instinctual now. In fact, go ahead and try it. When your phone goes off don’t look. Can you wait 10, 15, 30 minutes or more? I think you might find it interesting how hard pressed you are to delay looking at your device when it goes off. Our response has become habitual.

This lifestyle of continuous split attention doesn’t just harm us, but also our children. Parenting which has long been an emotional cued and responsive system is now disrupted. We are constantly present physically, but are we truly available and invested mentally and emotionally?

It makes us unhappier

                This lifestyle we have bought into has us stuck in the digital equivalent of an unending spin cycle. Our daily life is built around the premise that we are always on – always working, always parenting, always available to our spouses, our parents, and anyone else who might need us. And what a miserable premise that can be. That’s in addition to having the ability and expectation to always be remembering, staying on top of our household, the news, and what everyone else is doing. Walking to the car? Better order more toilet paper from Amazon. Gone are the moments of quite introspection. Had a thought? Your phone’s vibrating probably stole your attention away and it’s gone forever now. Not to mention the perfectionistic pressure of everyone’s supposed achievements, milestones, and happiness bombarding us 24/7. I mean what about all that truly makes us happier, more in the moment, and grateful?

It is an easy issue to ignore

                As parents we like to think we are always on and looking for ways to parent better. While this seems productive, we must be cautious that we aren’t projecting. For example, being middle aged and overweight myself, it is easier to obsess over my dog’s caloric intake and restrict her diet than heaven forbid address my own food regimen and habits. It’s a classic case of projection – or the psychologically defensive displacement of one’s failings onto another. Don’t we do the same thing when we are obsessive over our child’s screen time? It feels productive and good. After all we are helping them be better, right? Plus it’s much easier to focus on their habits than realizing our own might also be a problem spot that needs improving.

                Now this doesn’t mean we are condemning you for buying into our device focused culture they are pretty handy, and we aren’t ready to boycott them yet. We are merely seeking to awaken you to the realities and impacts you might not always be willing to recognize. Every action (or inaction) has a cause and effect. And we aren’t always in charge of that outcome. Merely our choices. You’ve got this Warrior parents! Every day is an opportunity to be better than the day before!

P.S. Stay tuned for more great lessons on parenting screen time and why it matters to you and your kiddos as we dive into this topic this month.

#RaiseAWarrior