What Is Your Child Made Of?

     Wouldn't it be nice if our kids came with a manual? Or even some kind of label or packaging that let us know exactly what they were made of. I mean we've all heard that little girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice, but all parent's know this isn't quite the case. And the boys description of snips, snails and puppy dog tails definitely is missing the mark.

     So what if we took the time to truly analyze those key ingredients that makeup our child? By taking the time to get to know their personality traits, tendencies, strengths and weakness could we understand our child better? Would we approach parenting them differently if we took our own fears and traits out of the equation and instead focused on helping them capitalize and strengthen what they already innately have?

Ingredients By Age

     As parents we know that each stage of childhood is characterized by different traits. or challenges to overcome. Toddlers exert independence and test boundaries, tweens crave the approval of their peers and teenagers think we are completely disconnected from reality. Each stage paves the way for the next period of development. Recognizing what stage our child is in allows us to help them fulfill that learning need and progress onward.

• Infancy: Infancy is all about learning to trust. This is because they are hugely dependent upon us to care for them and they have difficulty expressing exactly what they need. Fulfilling this needs requires dependability on the parents part in providing adequate care, love and nurturing.
  
  
• Toddlerhood: Toddlerhood is about seeking autonomy. They are on the move, striving to exert their independence and are truly ignorant and fearless of the dangers that might occur during their explorations. Successful completion of this stage leaves your child feeling secure and confident in their ability to act with intention, so long at it is within reason and safety limits.
  
  
• School Age: These children are now more in control of themselves and their environment. They are learning how things works and this new found knowledge leads to a sense of power and purpose. During this time they are also exposed to numerous new social and academic demands. As they being to master and cope with these changes they begins to develop feelings of competence and belief in their skills and abilities. Mostly what they require from us during this stage is guidance and encouragement that they are capable of succeeding and making you proud.

• Tweens, Teens and Beyond: In this stage your child is working on developing their sense of personal identity. It is a turbulent and experimental stage as they sort out who they are, and what they want to be. Children in this age need room to explore but within safe parameters. Communication becomes difficult as peers start to be more pivotal to their sense of worth and identity than the advice from the family unit.

Ingredients By Personality

     There are too many personality types for us to truly go into much detail, so we seek to offer some examples of different personality traits and how that might impact how they need to be parented. Because the truth is we can't truly change another person, even a child. They are naturally who they will be. It is up to us to guide and help those weak things become stronger and strengthen what your child already excels in.

• The Anxious Child: The anxious child needs concrete answers and limits. The world to them must be black and white. There is uncertainty and fear in the gray and unknown. So don't leave things unsaid. Clearly state your expectations and acknowledge how they're currently measuring up. Give them tools to manage and sooth their own anxieties and fears. And show how you manage your own anxieties.
  
  
• The Sensitive Child: The sensitive child needs a parent who is calm. Exploding in anger, withdrawing, name calling, yelling, withholding love, all of these will only injure your sweet sensitive soul. This isn't to say they need to be handled with care, they need boundaries and consequences just like every other child. We as parents should acknowledge they are already highly attuned to the reactions and emotions of others and help them learn how to not base their self worth and happiness on the reactions and perceived emotions of others. 
  
  
  
  
  
• The Impulsive Child: The impulsive child needs us to curb our own impulses and to demonstrate that self control and self discipline are required. How can we help them learn to think before they act or speak if we blurt out any consequence and ridicule that comes to mind at the slightest infraction or heated moment?

     Now this isn't to say we flaunt these personality traits and tendencies before our children. Because as most of us learned in middle school being categorized and labeled can be a very limiting and harmful lesson. This is just an exercise and tool that helps you more consciously and actively parent your uniquely individual child. Hope it helps! Happy parenting!

#RaiseAWarrior