Alright so back to the
basics with a quick recap for those just now joining our cause, according to
Dr. Gary Chapman there are 5 love languages. They are…
1. Words of Affirmation: those little comments that call attention to what’s at the core
of each child or teen that makes them a unique individual
2. Acts of Service: those big or little things we do that prove we care no matter how
busy life gets
3. Quality Time: when we spend time with others on a one-on-one basis it speaks to
their heart and says “You’re important and I like being with you.”
4. Physical Touch: the easiest and yet sometimes most awkward love language to fill;
from rough housing, tickle fights, to hugs or high fives, it’s those little
gestures that are full of so many unspoken words
5. Gift Giving: those meaningful gifts that are symbols of love, full of
meaningful memories, or the “just because type” when we something and were
thinking of them
Everyone has a primary love language that
most effectively fills them up and most people have a secondary one also. As
unique individuals it feels most natural to love others in your primary love
language. So for example if you feel most loved when you’re spending time with
others you will most naturally go out of your way to also give that quality
time to the ones you love. Quality time like that is always an awesome gift to
your little ones, and since it is exactly the kind of love you yourself crave it
is easy for these actions to lull us, as parents, into a false sense of
security. I mean after all our children “should just know” how much we love
them right?You have to be careful though. Assumptions are tricky things and often they couldn’t be further from the truth. It is impossible for anyone, especially a child, to just know what we are thinking and feeling, especially if we are inconsistently or rarely speaking their personal love language. So now that we see the love pitfall that so many fall victim too we have to do everything in our power to avoid it. The first step towards change is an awareness of the need to change. Now that you’re on board and committed to loving the ones in your family the way they essentially need to be loved how do we figure out what makes them tick? I mean a one in five chance isn’t the worst odds possible, but something to even the playing field in our favor would be too awesome to pass up. So here are the best ways we’ve found to help you discover which language form best communicates love to your child:
·
Observe how your child expresses love to
you: A child who
brightens your day by saying “Mommy, you’re so pretty” may desire to hear more
words of affirmation
·
Observe how your child expresses love to
others: A child who
wants to take presents to his teacher may appreciate more love shown in the
form of gifts
·
Pay attention and listen to what your
child requests most often: A child who asks for a bedtime glass of milk is seeking acts of
service, whereas a child who asks “How did I do in class today?” is asking for
more praise and affirmation
·
Notice what your child most frequently
complains about: A
child who says “You’re always at work and so busy” likely needs more quality
time from you
Got a second to look even deeper into this
topic? Check out the article below for even more ways to recognize and fulfill your child’s
primary and secondary love language. Our children are our life’s greatest work, so strive to give them your best. Happy parenting!
#RaiseAWarrior
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