Building Good Habits With Your Warrior: Gratitude

     This week we wanted to share some simple ways for you and your family to make having an attitude of gratitude the norm in your home. Because gratitude is a mindset it doesn't take much to switch. Just some concentrated effort. So here are five steps (that take 10 minutes or less to complete) that will help you build this habit with your family and start having a happier home life today...

Recognizing Life's Roses:

     Having a moment of thanks each day with our family is so important. It's a great opportunity to decompress, share the highlights of the day, and check in with each other. And with regular practice, some good can be found in even the darkest of days. One way this can regularly be done is when the family is gathered at dinner time. Growing up I had a friend who's family shared the "roses" of their day at dinnertime. Essentially the things that made us happy and we were grateful for were life's roses. Their family made it a goal to 'stop and smell (or reflect on) the roses' at each meal they were gathered too. You could also share a thorn of the day (or something that wasn't good), but only if you shared a rose before and after so everything ended on a good note. This practice is a simple and fun one that helps teach a child to count their blessings and recognize the silver linings in life. It's human nature to see the glass half-empty from time to time -- our kids are no exception. But when we cultivate an attitude of gratitude in our home we are recognizing that life is about perspective more than circumstance. This habit teaches resilience and helps us refocus on the positives in life that are often overlooked.

Thank You Notes Matter:

     Handwritten thank you notes are becoming a dying art. But it truly is a perfect way to encourage kids to express their gratitude in a creative way. And there are so many opportunities to thank another for doing something special for us throughout the year. Coaches, teachers, families who host sleep overs, after a birthday party, a hand written note or picture goes a long way towards spreading joy and sharing your gratitude. Plus it's one of those habits that if you start them young, your child will naturally carry throughout life. So keep thank you notes in your home. Set an example by writing a few of your own throughout the year. After all, the world needs more kindness in it so strive to raise a child who leaves other's better than they found them.

     

Gratitude Journals:

     There are a lot of studies that show happy, successful people, take the time to keep a journal. Whether this is a few quick bullet points throughout the week of highlights or a list of things that make you happy, having something you can look back on during life's lows has so many benefits. So take the time to reflect on the good things going on in your life. No matter how things are going it definitely boosts your mood when you practice gratitude. Plus having a journal filled with your child's wishes, blessings, and drawings is a priceless keepsake that both of you can enjoy for years to come. And who know... if you get into the habit your child might also cherish these insights into you as you both grow older.

Give "Things" In Moderation:

     We want to make our children happy. It's a part of being a good parent. From the time they first looked up at us, grasped our hand, said our name, or said "I love you" it has been one of our main goals. We want to give our children the best we can-- all the things we loved from our childhood and all the things we wished had been a part of ours. But there is a lot of worth in moderation. Buying all the things does not replace missed time and experiences shared with your loved ones. So yes, give what you can to your child, but don't feel like they need the newest iPhone or gaming system. Those material things will have greater worth to them if given in moderation. When a child sees what it takes to have all those things they will appreciate it more, than if their every whim and wish is granted seemingly from thin air. As they get older having a child chip in their own money towards a goal is also a great way to teach gratitude and help them respect the hard work that is demonstrated in order for them to have the things they want. Growing up we had to save our own money for souvenirs on vacations. Only one souvenir we wanted would be covered during the entire trip by our parents. This made us appreciate our covered souvenir and the hard work of saving/having money so much more because when you're going on a three week road trip there's no time to turn back for that stuffed bear that is now 100+ miles away. So put the emphasis less on things and take the time to recognize the work that it took for it to get there.

     

Self Gratitude:

     Finally this last one is specifically for you parents. A lesser known form of gratitude is self-gratitude or self-care. Practicing self-care is about being grateful for yourself, what you have, and this marvelous life around you. By making this a habit, you can shift your thinking to be more positive and grateful overall. So focus on self care once a week. Treat yourself just because. And don't feel like this is a purely monetary treat. Set aside some time to do something that brings you joy. Whatever your passion or way to unwind we want you to spend a few selfish moments with yourself. We parents work hard and our family needs us far beyond normal business hours. So take a moment to fill yourself up. We fill others best, when we ourselves are filled. So take a grateful moment for yourself to be the priority, take a moment to breathe and refresh. This is important not just for you, but for your family as well. So take the time to fill yourself up, then you can return to your life and duties refreshed and with a grateful heart.

     So there you have it. A quick list of easy actionable steps that will help you and your family make gratitude a habit. And speaking from experience, we had our adult students and instructors focus on gratitude for a 30 day Alpha Goals challenge this year and the results were amazing. When you take a moment to recognize how many things you have to be grateful for that you previously took for granted you will be amazed at the change in your outlook and happiness level. So take those first steps to become happier and healthier. Go be stronger and more grateful from here on out. This isn't just pretty words dumped neatly into a blog. This is a call to greatness and a simple step towards making the rest of your life better.

#RaiseAWarrior 

        Thanksgiving is one of those classic holidays loved by many and with good reason. It's a time to gather together, share a meal of abundance and give thanks for all the good in our lives, be it large or small. And it is also an amazing opportunity to teach our children what the holiday is all about: Gratitude. 

      Gratitude is one of those traits that is truly life changing. It allows us to step outside of our own self interest and helps us understand that the goodness in our lives is due in part to the people and circumstances around us. Especially as a kid, most of the good they experience in life wouldn't be possible without the love of the people in their lives. Those things are privileges that aren't always given or earned. 

     So if you're looking to foster a greater practice of gratitude in your homes this month we've got you covered. Studies have shown that full fledged gratitude occurs in four parts. And while your younger child may not be consistently hitting all of these marks we've got some advice on how to increase your child's awareness so they can start making a habit of gratitude. 

Noticing:

     The first step in any journey is awareness. You have to start recognizing the things you have to be grateful for before you can start being grateful. And this is true regardless of age. Maybe your child already see's the good in their lives but maybe this is still a work in progress. Parent's can lead by example and offer guided questions to foster increased awareness of the great things in their life outside of their power. Here are some examples to get you going -

• What do you have in your life that you are grateful for?
•  Are 'things/objects/gifts' the only thing you have to be grateful for?
• What gifts have you been given that you can't physically hold in your hand?
• Are you grateful for any of the people in your life? 
• Why are you grateful for him/her?

Questions like these help your child learn to recognize that there is so much more to be thankful for then just physical gifts. Helping them realize this early on will help them be less materialistic, selfish, and more self aware.

Thinking:

     Once your child or teen begins to start noticing unprompted all the people and things that help make their life great it's time to start teaching them to think about why have they been giving those things. Ask them questions like

• Why do you think you received this gift?
• Do you think you should do something in return?
• Do you think you earned this gift?
• Did the giver have to give you that gift?

As they start to realize they cannot do enough or be enough to earn all the kindness and love they are receiving they start to value those personalized gifts and effort even more than before. Now their gratitude for gifts, acts of service or love and the time people invest in them is starting to take wing.

Feeling:

     Gratitude is an emotional experience. It is so much more than a hurried thank you or a quick note of appreciation. And it can drastically impact your overall happiness and satisfaction in life. Isn't that what every parent wants. So start asking pointed questions to help them connect their positive feelings to the gifts they've received.

• How you feel when you received this gift?
• What about the gift makes you feel happy?
• How can you share your joy and excitement with them?
• Are there ways you can pass that joy and happiness on?

Doing:

     Gratitude is an experience that is meant to be shared and expressed. And there are so many fun ways to do that regardless of age. So whether you a family who writes thoughtful thank you(s), pays it forward, makes heartfelt gifts, does random acts of kindness, or shows your gratitude with some quality time and memories together, make sure you lead by example and teach your kiddos that the final part of gratitude is doing something about what you're feeling. After all the best feelings in life are meant to be shared and expressed. You've got this Warrior parents!

#RaiseAWarrior